Top 20 Reasons E-Mail is Better than Sex

1) E-mails last as long as you want them to.

2) You can e-mail a complete stranger without getting arrested.

3) Big e-mails don’t hurt; little ones can satisfy.

4) You can e-mail people in public without getting funny looks.

5) You can e-mail somebody on the other side of the world.

6) You can e-mail people of either or both genders without being considered perverted.

7) You can turn a computer on without having to wear clothes that might make you catch pneumonia.

8) If you e-mail somebody once then don’t get in touch again you won’t feel too guilty about it.

9) People who e-mail a lot of different people in a short time don’t get called horrid names.

10) You can e-mail somebody who doesn’t want anything to do with you and they can’t put you in prison for it.

11) Nobody makes any big thing of the first time you e-mail somebody.

12) Using your fingers to e-mail isn’t considered vaguely disgusting.

13) You can talk loudly about e-mailing in front of your auntie and she won’t be distressed.

14) You can e-mail close relatives and nobody will really bother about it.

15) E-mail can’t get you pregnant.

16) Or give you nasty diseases.

17) You can e-mail somebody at any time of the month.

18) If you get a nasty e-mail you won’t need counselling afterwards.

19) After you’ve used a computer to e-mail, it won’t hassle you for coffee.

20) If somebody interrupts you while you’re e-mailing, you feel neither embarrassed nor frustrated.