** Politicians make New Year resolutions **

New Delhi, Jan. 5: The new year has begun with a bang. The SUCS (Society of Useless Cribbing Souls) has brought out a file that states the new year’s resolutions that various politicians should make.

Atal Behari Bajpayee

Mr Bajpayee should make a conscious effort at trying not to catch 40 winks between sentences, maybe thinking with his eyes open would help.

Chandrababu Naido

Mr Naido should understand that different people have different needs. He should seriously rethink his plan of handing out free laptops to people who’d rather have two square meals a day.

Laloo Prasad Gadav

Indian scientists have developed a new kind of birth control method that is given intravenously. Mr Yadav and his wife should make an earnest effort to try this out. They already have enough children to form cricket teams called "Little Laloos Part A" and Little Laloos Part B".

Pal Thackery

Mr Thackery should consider changing his name to Chatrapatti Shivaji instead of using that name to rename everything in sight.

M. Karunanandi

The CM of Tamil Nadu should make a determined effort to get Veerappan apprehended. It’s about time this ’I-spy-with-my-little-eye’ game is stopped.

Jayalolita

Amma will try very hard to make do with just 50 saris and five pairs of shoes this year. She may feel underdressed but she should stare at a picture of the Mahatma for five minutes every morning and try to stick to her resolution.