My Jokes!!!

[liddy.bizhat.com]

Young Love

Little Bobby was in love with Little Susie who lived next door. One
day, Bobby went to Susie's dad and announced, "I'm in love with
Susie, and we're getting married".

Amused, Susie's dad started asking questions. "Where will you live?"
asked Susie's dad.

"Well," explained Bobby, "Susie has a playhouse in the backyard, so
we're gonna live there."

"How are you going to make money to support her?" asked the dad.

"Well," said Bobby, "Susie gets 75 cents a week, and I get $1.25 a
week. That should be more than enough!"

"Well," asked Susie's dad, "what about children?"

"Oh, we have that figured out already." explained Bobby. "Whenever
Susie lays an egg, I'm gonna stomp on it!"

[liddy.bizhat.com]

Wallpapering

A blonde decided to decorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many
rolls of wallpaper she would need but he knew that her blonde friend
next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were
identical in size.

"Buffy," she said, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your
bedroom?"

"Ten," said Buffy.

So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but had
2 rolls left over.

"Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom,
but I've got 2 left over!"

"Yes," said Buffy. "So did I."

[liddy.bizhat.com]

* BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells (or drops something
loudly) in a"cube farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's
heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

* TOURISTS - People who take training classes just to get a vacation
from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the
rest were just tourists."

* TREEWARE - Printed computer software/hardware documentation.

* CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used among microserfs to describe ill-
advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within
earshot is a serious CLM. (Also known as CEB - Career Ending Behavior)

* OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake. (See CLM)

* ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they
were designed to solve.

* DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived
from the experiences of Dilbert, the engineer in the job-from-hell
comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man
revised the specs for the fourth time this week."

* SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
poops on everything, and then leaves.

* SALMON WEEK - The experience of spending an entire week swimming
upstream only to die, and someone else get the benefit.

* 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could
not be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man."

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking an electronic
device *just right* to get it to work again.

[liddy.bizhat.com]

Ten Halloween Expressions That Sound Dirty But Aren't

10. She's a goblin!

9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack tonight.

8. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.

7. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.

6. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.

5. Let me see your big sack!

4. Can I eat your Zagnuts?

3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.

2. You scared me stiff!!

And the number one Halloween expression that sounds dirty, but isn't...

1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!

[Gali]

WOW...
its huge investment!!! and i love them
tnx for puf it!

[devistation]

whats the dif between women and lightbulbs?

you can unscrew a lightbulb

[pH]

good joke thread

thanks for sharing dude

[junjun]

young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding.

When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional
service, they opted for the contemporary.

On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate
route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his
pants legs to keep his trousers dry.

When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the
sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was
starting. ""Pull down your pants, whispered the pastor.""

""Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind,"" the groom responded. ""I think
I would prefer the traditional service.""

[asafasaf]

hhh thx bro good joks :D :D

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Good Collection Boss !!!

Thanks for sharing.

Lets add more here in your thread.