Adult jokes(A)

[indianbaba]

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A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist,
"Hello, could you give me condom. I'm going to my girlfriend's place for dinner
and I think I may be in with a chance!"

The pharmacist gives him the condom and the young man leaves. He soon returns and says,
"Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always
crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it
lucky there too."

The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says,
"Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when
she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner,I think she is
expecting me to make a move!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his
right and the mum facing him.

When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying,
"Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us."

A minute later the boy is still praying; "Thank you Lord for your kindness."

Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down.

The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others.
She gets close to the boy and says in his ear,
"I didn't know you were so religious."

The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!"

[indianbaba]

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been
> in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to
> rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On
> doing this she lets out a sigh. The man runs out and
> tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests
> he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is
> any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and
> this brings a moan. From this, the doctor suggests that
> the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait
>
> outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man
> to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about
> five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor
> his wife is dead. The doctor asks what happened to which
> the man replies: "She choked."

[indianbaba]

Once a white had to pee in a same toilet. By chance the white saw the black's penis. It was written "WY" on it. Surprised, he asked,"Is your girl friend's name is Wendy?" the black said, "No! why do you ask so?"

The white said, "Last week i had a date with my girl friend. After sex, she wrote her name Wendy on my erected penis. After contraction i could read only WY. I say WY on your tool and so i asked"

He said, "Oh! no! it was written "Welcome to Jamaica! have a nice day!
__________________

[indianbaba]

1. How to find a blind man in a nudists' camp?

It is not hard (dont ask me what is)

2. Who is the hero in a nudists' camp?

The one who carries two trays full of bottles in two hands and also 12 doughnuts (dont ask me where the doughnuts were kept)

3. Who is the heroine of a nudists' camp?

The one who takes the 12th doughnut without using her hand!

4. What is that meant for kids but dad ends up playing with them?

Toys (or breasts)

5. What is the that a woman has got two and a cow has got four?

No not breasts - It is legs


6. What is the height of patriotism?

Screwing a girl with a condom made of Khadi

7. Why do dogs lick their balls?

Because they can!

[indianbaba]

Santa working in a automobile garage observed that his boss used to leave for the day exactly by 4pm though the office timings was 7pm. Santa and his colleagues decided that one day they will also leave as soon as their boss leave for the day.

The day came and Santa along with 2 friends left.

On the following day the first one said, "I had a ball yesterday. I made love to my wife till 7pm and utilized these 2 hours usefully!"

The second one said, "It was good for me too. I spent the first hour with my sis-in-law and when my wife came back i had made love to her for an hour"

Santa said, " I just escaped. Had i entered my house, i would have been caught red-handed by our Boss who was in bed with my wife"

[indianbaba]

Little Red Riding hood was getting ready to visit her grandmother in a forest by that night. Her mother said, "You would better not go tonight. The big bad wolf is out and you know what he would do. He will lift your little red skirt up, pull down your little red panties and fuck your little red socks off!"

The little Red Riding Hood pulls out a gun and says, "dont worry mom! i've got it covered!"

Little Red Riding Hood was walking along the forest and comes across pigs. The pigs say, "little Red Riding Hood! you'd better not go tonight. The big bad wolf is out and you know what he would do. He will lift your little red skirt up, pull down your little red panties and fuck your little red socks off!"

The little Red Riding Hood pulls out a gun and says, "dont worry ! i've got it covered!"

Then it comes across the big bad wolf. The wolf said, "you should not have come out tonight. I am out and you know what i would do. I will lift your little red skirt up and pull down your little red panties and fuck your little red socks off"

The Little Red Riding Hood lifts her little red skirt, pulls down her little red panties, lies on her back, spreads her leg and pulls out the shot gun and says, "No! you are going to eat me like the book says!"

[indianbaba]

The Smart Sailor!!!

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The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch
measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose
what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip
of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second
officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched
hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzled old Chief Warrant Officer, who, when asked where he would like to be
measured replied, "from the tip of my pecker to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big
cheques the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go
along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer
placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's pecker and began to work back. "My God!"
he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied , "Vietnam."

[indianbaba]

Sex Education

Santa to Jeeto, "It's about time we teach Pappu about sex."

Jeeto says, "Yes, you're right."

Santa says, "Hey Pappu, come on in for a second."

Pappu came in and says, "Yes dad?"

"Paapu, it's about time we teach you about sex."

"Sex!!! Whats sex?"

Santa turned to Jeeto and told her to take off her clothes, so she does, right there in front of Pappu.

Santa to Pappu, "See that hole and watch this."

So Santa starts going at with Jeeto.

In the mean time Pappu's friend comes and asks, "Pappu, whats your dad and mom doing?"

Pappu says, "They are teaching me about sex."

Friend asks, "Sex!!! Whats sex?"

Pappu, "See that hole in dad and now watch this...."

[indianbaba]

sex issue

A man and a woman were having drinks, getting to know one another and started bantering back and forth about male /female issues. They talked about who was better in certain sports, who were the better entertainers, etc. The flirting continued for more than an hour when the topic of sex came up. So they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

He then went on for several hours arguing his point, even going so far as to ask other men in the bar for their opinions. The woman listened quietly until the man was finished making his point. Confident in the strength of his argument, the man awaited her response.

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered.

"Think about this - When your ear itches and you put your little
finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better - your ear or your finger?

[indianbaba]

This actually happened ..............
In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in male semen(sperms) which gives the sperm all the energy for their journey to the woman's hole.
A female raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in male semen?".
"That's correct," responded the professor, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, she asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"..
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said, (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class, never to return.
However, as she was going out the door, the professor's reply was classic. Totally straight-faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat