- Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

MAN: "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?
WOMAN: Honey, I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

FATHER: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"