Outwit, Outsmart, Outplay!

John wanted to screw a girl in his class but she belonged to someone else. One day, John got so frustrated that he went up to her and said bluntly, "I'll give you a thousand bucks if you let me screw you."

The girl, obviously insulted, said no but John insisted. "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down. I'll be finished by the time you pick it up." She thought about it, and said she would have to consult her boyfriend first.

So she called her boyfriend and told him of the offer. "Have him double the amount!" said her boyfriend. "And make sure you pick up the money before he even has a chance to pull down his pants." She agreed with the plan and faced John for his big lay.

Thirty minutes went by and not a word from the girl. When the boyfriend called, the girl was fuming at the other end of the line. "Why?" asked the boyfriend. And the girl said, "The bastard used coins!"


Big Jerk Needs A Head-Check!

Jaykee walks into his favorite beer joint with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" Asks the barman. "Well, I'll tell you," replies Jaykee.

"You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, you know, just like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaims the barman. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?" "I dunno... Never found the head."