Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied man.
But behind a satisfied woman, there is usually an exhausted man.


Sex is like a restaurant. Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and Sometimes
You have to be satisfied with self-service


Why was the two piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.


Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby
Than have a tooth removed. Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly.


Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. Wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "
.
A kid asked the priest " Father, what is your pastime? "
The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied "Nun, my Child, Nun"


75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - Why?
Reason - Because she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything..!