A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."

He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.

Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."





One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!"

Then the teacher reluctantly called on Tony.

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f#*king beautiful!' "






A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled "we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to 4, but I counted to 10.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! See?

Very good, said her Mother.

Is it because I'm blonde?

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the Mummy.



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The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G.

A,B,C,D,E,F,G! See?

"Very good," said her Mother.

Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?

"Yes it's because you're blonde!



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The following day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in Gym class today and when we showered all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"

She lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36C's.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"No Honey, it's because you're 24."