8- NON-MATTERING FINAL
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" & do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few min early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it’s a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it’s long answer/essay form, answer w/ numbers & symbols.
4. Show up completely drunk. (Should start crying 4 mommy).
5. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say " u don't really expect me 2 waste my time on this drivel? Frasier is on!!!"
6. Read questions aloud; debate ur answers w/ urself loudly. If asked 2 stop, yell, "I'm SO sure u can hear me thinking." Then talk about what a jerk the instructor is
7. About 5 min into the exam, loudly say 2 the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been 2 every lecture all semester long! & who the hell r u? Where's the regular guy?" & ask 4 the answer of the questions.
8. Bring a Game Boy. Play w/ the volume @ max level.
9. Bring a friend 2 give u a back massage. Insist that u have bad circulation.
10. Bring cheat sheets 4 ANOTHER CLASS (like history notes 4 a calculus exam... otherwise u’re not just failing, u’re getting kicked out too) & staple them 2 the exam, w/ the comment "Plz use the attached notes 4 references as u c fit."
11. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme 2 Jeopardy.
12. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice, spell out interesting thgs (DCCAB. BABE etc..).
13. Complete the exam w/ everyth u write being backwards @ a 90 degree angle.
14. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
15. Answer the exam w/ the "Top 10 Reasons why Professor xxxx sucks"
16. Do the exam w/ crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
17. Play Frisbee w/ a friend @ the other side of the room.
18. ask a 2nd copy of the exam 4 ur imaginary friend sitting next 2 u.
19. Do the entire exam in another language. 4 math/science exams, use Roman numerals.
20. As soon as the instructor hands u the exam, eat it, & dare 2 ask 4 another