Latex products factory tour

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products.

At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud “hiss-pop” noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.”

Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a “Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop” noise. “Wait a minute!” says the man taking the tour. “I understand what the ‘hiss, hiss,’ is, but what’s that ‘pop’ every so often?”

“Oh, it’s just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine,” says the guide. It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.”

“Well, that can’t be good for the condoms!”

“Yeah, but it’s great for the baby-bottle nipple business!”

Another bunch of funny one-liners

Behind every successful man, there is a great woman and behind every great woman, there is a smart guy staring at her butt.

* If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

* Opinion is like an *** hole, everyone has one.

* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.

* Chess players mate better.

* Excuses are like asses: everyone has em and they all stink.

* Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg do not find nuts.

* If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK.

* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.
Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.

* Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.

* If you think sex is a pain in the ***, you’re doing it wrong.

* There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don’t and stop, unless they are used together.

* The difference between a husband and a lover is the difference between day and night.

* I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.

* Prostitution is a hole sale business.

* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.

* It is good for woman to meet man in park, but better for man to park meat in woman.

* What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

* Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

* Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up straight.

* I’m not attracted by a girl’s mind … But by what she doesn’t mind.

* Guns don’t kill people… Husbands who come home early kill people.

* Gettin’ married is like getting into a bath tub.
After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.

* Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy!