lol well then first heres a list of what you'll need:::

a topic for your site (what its about)
a good catchy name
a good layout
an interesting service that will make people want to come back for more
a reliable service that people can depend on for entertainment, help, ect.

then you can look up html tutorials or even use a program like IMS Webdwarf (google it) to make the site. ftp it (Webdwarf has an ftp built in) to your site, and you're done!

good luck