PC Jokes

[grace55]

Intel Inside

Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?
A: The warning label.

Keyboard Error

A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message. She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error? There isn't even a keyboard attached?

[Friendz]

Computer Jokes

A woman rings up a computing hotline
Woman:hello
Employee:hello, what seems to be the problem?
W:I was just typing on my computer, and it just went dark
E:dark?
W:the screen went black
E:can you see the start button in the bottom left hand corner?
W:no the whole thing is black
E:is the monitor still connected to the computer?
W: pardon?
E:is the screen still connected to the computer via USB?
W:whats a USB?
E:like a wire
W:well it's in the monitor but i can't see if it's in the computer
E:can you look?
W:i'll try
(pause)
E:so?
W: i can't see
E:lean over a bit
W:no it's not that, it's because it's dark
E:dark?
W:the only light in the room is coming from the window
E:well turn on the light switch then
W:i can't there's a power cut
E: ok i see the problem, do you still have the packaging for the computer?
W:yes, but is it really that bad?
E:i'm afraid it is, pack it all up and send it back
W: ok then, what do i tell them
E:tell them your to stupid to own a computer

this one isn't true

A man ring a computing hotline and says there's a problem, the employee says, "ok can you see the start button in the bottom left corner of your screen?"
the man says "wow! how can you see my computer from there?"

i had more but been a while since i read them :)

[grace55]

Users Prayer

Dear God, Help me log on without fretting Guide me as I'm interneting Bless my downloading and uploading Keep my browser from exploding. May my website be protected Let not my password be rejected Keep my line connection clear...... and let tech support be always near! Please keep all my programs alive, and be sure to back up my hard drive! And protect my puter from catching ......a virus and end up crashing! Amen

[grace55]

Open a new folder

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."

[grace55]

HARD-DISK woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

INTERNET woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER woman:
Always busy when you need her.

CD-ROM woman:
She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman:
Also called “wife”; when you are not expecting her, she comes,
installs herself and uses all you resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something,if you don’t you will lose everything!!