Kids Jokes {Part 2} Girl Jokes -- Clean & Cute

[bizzarewd]

Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, 'I took my girlfriend to see 'The bride of Dracula' last night.'
'Oh yeah,' said the other, ' what was she like ?'
'Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs.'
The other said, 'Yes, but what was 'The Bride of Dracula' like ?'

[bizzarewd]

What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend ?
I love every bone in your body

Why did the vampire's girlfriend break up with him ?
Because he had such a powerful crush on her.

When my girlfriend goes out riding, she looks like part of the horse. When she dismounts, she still looks like part of the horse.

[bizzarewd]

Flash Harry gave his girlfriend a mink stole for her birthday. Well, it may not have been mink, but it's fairly certain it was stole.

One day Tony's girlfriend wrote to him to say their friendship was off and could she have her photograph back ? Tony sent her a pile of pictures of different girls with the message: I can't remember what you look like. Could you please take out your photo and return the rest?

My girlfriend talks so much that when she goes on vacation, she has to spread suntan lotion on her tongue.

[bizzarewd]

My girlfriend thinks I'm a great wit. Well, she's half right.

Simon: My girlfriend and I fell out last night. She wanted to go and watch ice-skating, but I wanted to go the football match.
Peter: What was the ice-skating like ?

What did the undertaker say to his girlfriend ?
Em-balmy about you.

[bizzarewd]

My girlfriend thinks I'm a great wit. Well, she's half right.

Simon: My girlfriend and I fell out last night. She wanted to go and watch ice-skating, but I wanted to go the football match.
Peter: What was the ice-skating like ?

What did the undertaker say to his girlfriend ?
Em-balmy about you.

[bizzarewd]

I can't understand why people say my girlfriend's legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but they certainly don't match.

Ben's new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.

[bizzarewd]

Every time I take my girlfriend out for a meal she eats her head off. She looks better that way.

Anne: Ugh ! The water in my glass is cloudy .
Dan, trying to impress his new girlfriend: It's all right, it's just the glass that hasn't been washed.

My girlfriend is a beautiful redhead - no hair, just a redhead!

[bizzarewd]

Girls in Trouble
Just seems to follow girls around !

Trevor: That's a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green.
Jill: Yes, and I have another pair just like it at home.

'Can you lend me $1,000?'
'I only have $800.'
'That's all right You can owe me the other $200.'

[bizzarewd]

Brother: Where was Solomon's temple ?
Sister: On either side of his head.

Mum: How did you do in the grammar test ?
Kate: Great, mum. I only made one mistake and I seen it as soon as I done it.

[bizzarewd]

Little Susie stood in a department store near the escalator, watching the moving handrail.
'Something wrong little girl?' inquired the security guard.
'Nope,' replied Susie, 'just waiting for my chewing gum to come back.'