Kids Jokes {Part 2} Girl Jokes -- Clean & Cute

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Did you thank Mrs Pillbeam for teaching you today?' Janie's mum asked her when she came home from school.
'No I didn't. Mary in front of me did Mrs Pillbeam said 'Don't mention it', so I didn't.

Teacher: Are you good at arithmetic?
Mary: Well, yes and no.
Teacher: What do you mean, yes and no?
Mary: Yes, I'm no good at arithmetic.

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Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Mary. When I was your age I ate every one.
Mary: Do you still like crusts, Grandma?
Grandma: Yes, I do.
Mary: Well, you can have mine.

Jane: Do you ever do any gardening?
Wayne: Not often. Why?
Jane: You look as if you could do with some remedial weeding.

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Mary: I've a soft spot for you.
Harry: Really?
Mary: Yes, in the middle of a bog!

Mary: There's no point in telling you a joke with a double meaning.
Cary: Why not?
Mary: You wouldn't get either of them.

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Darren: I'm so tired I feel like an old sock.
Sharon: I thought there was a funny smell in here!

A rather stern aunt had been staying with Sharon's parents and one day she said to the little girl, 'Well, sharon, I'm going home tomorrow. Are you sorry?'
'Oh yes, Auntie,' replied Sharon, 'I thought you were going today.'

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Gemma: I've been told I look just like an Italian dish.
Emma: You do.
Gemma: Really? Sophia Loren? Gina Lollobrigida?
Emma: No, spaghetti bolognese.

Sharon: I'm so homesick.
Sheila: But this is your home!
Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.

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'What shall we play today?' said Theresa to her best friend Emma..
'Let's play schools,' said Emma.
'OK,' said Theresa. 'But I'm going to be absent.'

Cookery teacher: Helen, what are the best things to put in a fruit cake?
Helen: Teeth!

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Emma: I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday.
Gemma: Why don't you?
Emma: Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
Mum: No, dear, what ?
Helen: A nice teapot.
Mum: But I've got a nice teapot.
Helen: No you haven't. I've just dropped it.

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Mod, continuing my posts.........

and nxt one:
With friends like these...
A girls best friend is a...

Jane was telling her friend about her vacation in Switzerland. Her friend had never been to Switzerland, and asked, 'What did you think of the scenery?'
'Oh, I couldn't see much,' Jane admitted. 'There were all those mountains in the way.'

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Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. 'Oh, Gladys,' said her friend, 'you've lost your engine!'
'Never mind dear,' said auntie. 'I've got a spare one in the trunk.'

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Girl to friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to come out tonight. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.

Aunt Muriel received a letter one morning and after reading it burst into floods of tears.
'What's the matter?' asked her friend.
'Oh dear,' sobbed Auntie, 'It's my favourite nephew. He's got three feet.'
'Three feet?' exclaimed her friend. 'Surely that's not possible?'
'Well,' said Auntie, 'his mother's just written to tell me he's grown another foot!'