Crazy jokes

[sherlyk]

You are Damn American

A crazy Desi was running amuck in central business area of Banglore.

He saw one American guy. He approached him and said, "You are Japanese."

The American said, "No, I am American."

Crazy Desi goes again raising his voice, "No you are Japanese."

The polite American said, "No, No, I am American sir"

Crazy Desi says in yelling voice, "You are Japanese."

The scared American replies in conformance, "Yes, I am Japanese."

The Cooled down Desi goes, "Perhaps, but you look like damn American OK."

[sherlyk]

You are Damn American

A crazy Desi was running amuck in central business area of Banglore.

He saw one American guy. He approached him and said, "You are Japanese."

The American said, "No, I am American."

Crazy Desi goes again raising his voice, "No you are Japanese."

The polite American said, "No, No, I am American sir"

Crazy Desi says in yelling voice, "You are Japanese."

The scared American replies in conformance, "Yes, I am Japanese."

The Cooled down Desi goes, "Perhaps, but you look like damn American OK."

[sherlyk]

Easy Money

This woman had just gotten out of the shower when her husband went in. Suddenly the door bell rang, so she put on a towel and went downstairs. When she opened the door it was the next-door neighbor Rob.
"I'll give you $500 if you'll drop the towel," Rob said. So she dropped the towel, grabbed the $500, then went to tell her husband about the money.
Before she could say a word, her husband yelled out, "Hey, was that Rob with the $500 he owes me?"

[sherlyk]

Confession

Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.


Her pale lips moved. "Jake," she said quietly.


"Hush," he quickly interrupted, "don't talk."


But she insisted. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I must confess."


"There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake. "It's all right. Everything's all right."


"No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been unfaithful to you."


Jake stroked her hand, squeezed it and sobbingly told her, "Now Becky, don't be concerned. I know all about it," he cried uncontrollably. "Why else would I poison you?"

[sherlyk]

A guy walks in for his interview.
The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."

Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."

2nd guy walks in for his interview.

The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."

Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."

This guy on the way out says to the 3rd guy "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out."

3rd guy walks in for his interview.

The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy looks at the interviewer intently for a few seconds and responds, "Why, you wear contact lenses don't you."

The interviewer says, "That's impressive that you're so observant. How could you tell I wear contact lenses?"

3rd guy "Because you don't have any damn ears to hang glasses on."

[sherlyk]

sherlock holmes


Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

[ppancakke]

You passion a pancake?I searched as is more tasty them to prepare.Has develop a portion of interesting here pancake recipe

[zzazikumar]

[QUOTE=sherlyk;122055] sherlock holmes


good joke. i enjoyed. i htink every body would have enjoyed the joke.

[sherlyk]

Little Johnny has a speech impediment. His father taught to him to always be polite to people.

The first day of school, Johnny gets on the bus, remembering what his father told him, says to the bus driver, "Doog moaning buth driber,"

The bus driver slaps him in the mouth, and sends him to the back of the bus.

This goes on for four days.
Finally, Johnny tells his father the problem, "Fatter you tell me to be pollite, but when I do the buth driber shlaps my in ma faith."

His father says, "Tomorrow I will wait at the bus with you."

The next day, there they are waiting for the bus. When it arrives Johnny’s father says, "Go on Johnny get on the bus and be polite."

Johnny does but looks to his father with fear in his eyes.

His father says, "Go on Johnny."

So Johnny, wanting to be as polite as possible says, "Doog moaning buth driber."

With that the bus driver raises his hand in an attempt to strike Johnny in the face, but before he can Johnny father grabs the drivers hand.

He asks, "Why do you smack my son, when all he is doing is being polite?"

The bus driver says, "Betause heeth making fun of me"

[sherlyk]

A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. ...

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left--phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right.... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000...are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it...A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo or D-Thrush Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."

Barbara: "Oh, gees, that's simple.... it’s a cuckoo.."


Regis: "You're sure? You can stick on $500,000 or play on for the million."

Barbara: "I want to play; I'll go with C-Cuckoo."

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is"

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Absolutely"

Regis: "Barbara, you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. Well....you' re right! You have just won 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink.

As they are sipping champagne, Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how in God's name did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?" "Get real!"

Barbara replies, "Everybody knows cuckoos live in clocks!"