Blonde jokes(A)

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - Blonde Horse Back Rider
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a frim grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when......

The Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut off the horse!

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - Blonde Husband
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You jerk!," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - Blonde In A Barn
A blonde, brunette and red-head where driving down the road, when a cop starts to chase them.

Speeding off, they crash into the side of a barn, immediately jump out of the car and hide under potato sacks.

The cop charges in after them and comes across the first potato sack, where the brunette is hiding under. He kicks it and the brunette says, "MEEEEOOOOOOW." "Oh!", the cop says, "it's just a stupid cat."

He then moves to the potato sack the red-head is under and kicks it. The red-head replies, "WOOF, WOOF." The cop, angry now, says, "STUPID DOG!!"

Then the cop gets to the potato sack the blonde is under, he kicks it with great force and the blonde screams,

...."POOOOOTAAAAATOOOOOO!"

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - Blonde Intelligence
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.

That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."

He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"

She quickly replied, "M"

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - The Blonde Ransom
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. "I've kidnapped you!", said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bad was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - Blonde Selling a Car
A blonde tried to sell her old car, but she was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250, 000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter, " replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."

"Okay, " said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50, 000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"

"No, " replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50, 000 miles on it."

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - Blonde Police Stop
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - Blonde With A Gun
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her.

She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, now she's angry!

She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!"

"Shut up," she says, "You're next."

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - Blondes In Heaven
Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, 'What is Easter?'

The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful...'

'Wrong!, ' replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, 'What is Easter?'

The second blonde replies, 'Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.'

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, 'What is Easter?'

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, 'I know what Easter is.'

'Oh?' says St. Peter, incredulously.

'Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.'

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

The third blonde continues, 'Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.'

[indianbaba]

Blonde Jokes - Blonde Test Taking
The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails.

Within a half an hour, she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.

"I finished the exam in half an hour. But, " she says, "I am rechecking my answers."