Blondes - Jokes, Humor, Pics

[HPD.]

Stranded
Three friends; a blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stranded on a desolate island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp.
They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"
The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."


Golf and Tennis
A man got on a bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls.
A blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets,
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
The blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

[HPD.]

Cruise Bargain
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!" So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please."
The agent says, "Yes, ma'am," grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her into a large inner tube, pulls her out the back door and downhill to the river bank, where he pushes her in and sends her floating down the river.
A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, see the sign, goes inside, lays down her money, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river.
Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on his cruise?"
The second blonde replies, "They didn't last year."

[HPD.]

Flying Blonde
A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!"
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and copilot that there is some blonde sitting in First Class who belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The copilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here!"
The copilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak 'blonde'!" He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry". . . gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section.
The flight attendant and copilot are amazed and asked him what he said make her move without any fuss. "I told her First Class isn't going to Montreal."

Honest Mechanic
One blonde related to another, "I was so worried that the garage mechanic might try to rip me off. But then I was relieved when he told me that all I needed was turn signal fluid."