Kid Jokes........{ Clean & Cute }

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Remember: when eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.
Nostalgia rules, hokey cokey.
Shoplifters have the gift of the grab.
I came to the zoo when I was seven, which cage were you in ?
Once there was an elephant who went away to forget.
Elephants are modest - they bathe with their trunks.
Modesty is wearing swimming trunks with sleeves.
Why is water wet ?
Why is there air ?

Is there intelligent life on Earth?
Yes, but I'm only visiting !

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The venus de Milo is perfectly armless.
If you cannot spell a word, look it up in a dikshunary.
The pope lives in the vacuum.
The only good book's a read one.
Sing and shout and dance with joy For I was here before Kilroy.
Praktiss maikes purfikt.
If you cannot communicate, try talking.
Monkey is the root to all people.
My needlework teacher is a sew-in-sew.
When Volkswagens retire, do they go to the old volks home ?

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He who laughs last doesn't get the joke.
And the meek shall inherit the earth, as long as nobody minds.
Don't play in the street - you may get that run down feeling.
Poetry is when every line starts with a capital letter.
Handel was a boy in a story by Grimm. He had a sister called Gristle.
Saint Peter was a rabbit in a book by Beatrix Potter.
The Housing Problem by Rufus Quick.
In the Country by Theresa Green.
Shakespeare wrote tragedy, comedy and errors.
If all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players, where does the audience come from ?

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Dracula loves in vein.
I used to be a werewolf but I'm OK nowoooooh.
Have you seen the invisible man lately ?
This wall is available in paperback.
Who was Corporal Punishment ?
I've lived on Earth all my life.
Why do trains leave tracks behind them ?
Stop, look and listen and be hit by a train.
If Superman is so clever, why does he wear his underpants outside his trousers ?
If God had mean't us to fly, he would have given us wings or sent us the tickets.

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Dyslexia rules, K.O.
Escalators are on the way up.
Breakfast in London, lunch in New York, baggage in Bermuda.

Can you help me out ?
Which way did you come in ?
Exits are on the way out.
I don't care whether I win or lose, as long as I win.

I think, therefore I am.
I am, therefore I think.
I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.
Mickey Mouse is a rat.
Watership Down: you've read the book, you've seen the film, now try the stew.
Dracula is a pain in the neck.

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Communicate with a fish - drop it a line.
Between your eyes is something that smells.
Telepathy is a code invented by Morse.
Apathy rules, so what ?
Wood doesn't grow on trees you know !
Save trees - eat a beaver.

Do you have trouble making up your mind?
Well, yes and no!
I'd give my right hand to be ambidextrous.
Do vikings use Norse code ?
James Bond rules, OOK.

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Isaac Newton counts on his fingers.

Don't lose any sleep over insomnia.

Amnesia rules, oooo....

Today's pigs are tomorrow's bacon.

Moses found in a basket - reed all about it.

Preserve wildlife - pickle a hedgehog today.

Be alert - your country needs lerts.

Act your age, not your shoe size !

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Boys Riddles

Why is a shoemaker like a minister ?
Because the both try to save soles (souls).

What would you call two banana skins ?
A pair of slippers.

What's the best thing to make in a hurry ?
Haste.

If two wrongs don't make a right, what did two rights make ?
An airplane.

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Where does a two-ton gorilla sleep ?
Anywhere he wants to.

If you found a five dollar bill in every pocket of your coat, what would you have ?
Someone else's coat.

When do two and two make more than four.
When they make 22.

What is the latest thing in dresses ?
A nightdress.

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What increases its value by being turned upside down ?
The number 6.

What is the best way to hunt bear ?
With your clothes off.

Which eye gets hit the most ?
The bulls-eye.

Why was the dog chasing his tail ?
He was trying to make both ends meet.