Kid Jokes........{ Clean & Cute }

[sreerag16.bizhat.com]

Whats in the church, but not the steeple, The minister has it, but not the people ?
The letter 'R'.

What is the difference between a cat and a match ?
One lights on its feet, the other lights on its head.

What goes 99 thumb, 99 thump ?
A centipede with a wooden leg.

Why couldn't the mountain climber call for help ?
Because he was hanging by his teeth.

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Why is an empty purse always the same ?
Because there is never any change in it.

What part of a clock is always old ?
The second hand.

What are two things you can never have for breakfast.
Lunch and dinner.

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Why did the computer get arrested ?
Because it was robbing the memory bank.

Why did the boy wear a wet shirt all day ?
Because the label said 'wash and wear'.

What sound does a whale make when it cries ?
Blubber, blubber, blubber...

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What can speak every language but has never been to school ?
An echo.

What is the biggest ant ?
An elephant.

What is gray and has a trunk ?
A mouse going on vacation.

What does a baby ape sleep in ?
An apricot.

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What amount of money can be divided fifty-fifty between two people giving one of them a hundred times more than the other ?
Fifty dollars and fifty cents.

When will a net hold water ?
When the water has turned to ice.

What's the difference between a running man and a running dog ?
One wears trousers and the other pants.

[sreerag16.bizhat.com]

What letter is nine inches long ?
The letter 'Y' it's one quarter of a yard.

What dish is out of this world ?
A flying sauncer.

What is the shortest month ?
May. It has only three letters.

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How many elephants can you get into a small car ?
Four: two in the front and two in the back.

How many rhinoceroses can you get into a small car ?
None, it's full of elephants.

What do you call a shrimp with a machine gun ?
Al Caprawn.

What lives at the bottom of the sea and shakes ?
A nervous wreck.

[sreerag16.bizhat.com]

What's harder to catch the faster you run ?
Your breath.

What's black and white and red all over ?
A newspaper.

What has a neck but no head ?
A bottle.

[sreerag16.bizhat.com]

When are eyes not eyes ?
When the wind makes them water.

What branch of the military do babies join ?
The infantry.

Why do you go to bed ?
Because the bed won't come to you.

[sreerag16.bizhat.com]

Why is mayonnaise never ready ?
Because it's always dressing.

Why did the cat stare at the garage light ?
He was trying to make a moth bawl.

What is round and has a terrible temper ?
A vicious circle.

Why were the elephants the last animals off the ark ?
They had to pack their trunks.