Kid Jokes........{ Clean & Cute }

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There once was a boy from Brazil
who of pumpkin ate more than his fill.
He thought it no matter,
that he grew fatter and fatter,
but he burst - which makes me quite ill.

There once was a guy named Matt
who had an overly large cat.
When it chased a mouse
it shook the whole house,
so Matt got rid of the cat.

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There was an old man of Philly
who was hooked on the movie 'Free Willy.'
He quit his job at the jail,
for a dolphin and whale
and so was the life of wee willy.

There was a young fellow called Jake
who had a poisonous snake.
It bit his head
and now he's dead,
so that was the end of Jake.

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There once was a boy from Montreal
who loved to play basketball.
For a team he tried out,
but if he made it, I doubt
for you see, he was three feet tall.

There was a young man named Wyatt
whose voice was exceedingly quiet,
and then one day if faded away.

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There was a young hunter named Shepherd
who was eaten for lunch by a leopard.
Said the leopard, 'Egad!
you'd be tastier, lad,
if you had been salted and peppered.

A junior school dropout name Ray
once had an unusual day.
Entrusting his fate
to a twenty-pound weight,
while a hurricane blew him away.

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An unlucky fellow named Foster
caught a mermaid while fishing off Gloucester.
To his lasting regret,
when he reached in the net,
she slipped through his hands and he lost her.

There was a young man from Quebec
who wrapped both his legs round his neck !
But then he forgot
how to undo the knot,
and now he's an absolute wreck.

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There was a yound man called Art,
who thought he'd be terribly smart.
He ate ten cans of beans,
and busted his jeans,
with a loud and earth shattering _ _ _ _ _ _!

While visiting close friends, a gnat,
decided to sleep in a hat.
but an elderly guest
decided to rest,
now the gnat and the hat are quite flat.

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A blackberry picker called Sam
ate berries where others ate ham.
A doctor who pried,
said, 'Sir, your inside
would make most delectable jam.'

There was a young lad of St Just
who ate apple pie till he bust.
It wasn't the fru-it
that caused him to do it,
what finished him off was the crust.

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Said a very l-o-n-g crodile,
'My length is a terrible trail!
I know I should diet
but each time I try it
I'm hungry for more than a mile!'

I don't wish to harp about Lew
who kept peering into the stew.
He lifted the lid
and in it he slid
I think I'll miss dinner, don't you ?

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There was an old man of Thermopylae,
who never did anything properly;
but they said, 'if you choose,
to boil eggs in your shoes,
you shall never remain in Thermopylae.'

There was a young parson named Perkins
exceedingly fond of small gherkins.
One summer at tea
he ate fourty three,
which pickled his internal workin's.

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Our kitten, the one we call Louie,
will never eat liver so chewy.
Nor the milk, nor the fish
that we put in his dish.
He only will dine on chop suey.

There was a young boy of Quebec
who fel into the ice to his neck.
When asked, 'are you friz ?'
He replied, 'yes, I is,
but we don't call this cold in Quebec.'