Kid Jokes........{ Clean & Cute }

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Light Sleeper
Someone who goes to bed in a chandelier

Linesman
Bad tempered teacher

Lithe
Falsehoods told by someone who lisps

Lobster
A tennis player

Logarithms
Wooden dance tunes

Lost Chord
Something you look for when playing Haydn seek (after you've been to the shops with your Chopin Liszt)

Luck
When a man picks up a horse-shoe on the road, and is knocked by a car into a field o four-leafed clovers as a black cat walks by

Luxury
Something that costs $5 to make and $105 to sell

Lyre
A dishonest harp

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Crazy Definitions : M

Macaroni
The inventor of the wireless who used his noodle and pasta message through spaghetti

Macaroon
A famous Scots buscuit

Magic Eye
What teachers have in the back of their heads

Magpie
A pudding made with old magazines

Malady
A duchess

Margin
Mummy's favourite tonic

Melancholy
A dogs that likes melons

Mental Cruelty
Double maths on Friday afternoon

Mermaid
A creature that's half a girl and half a sardine

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Meter
A butcher with a car

Metronome
Musical elf driving a mini

Microwave
Very small cooker

Milk Chocolate
Something that no-one can do

Milk Shake
What you get from nervous cows

Mince
White sweet with a hole in the middle and a peppermint flavour

Minimum
Minidad's wife

Misfired
A secretary who has been given the sack

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Misprint
Copy someone else's homework incorrectly

Mistletoe
Astronaut's athelete's foot

Mittens
What you get when a cat swallows a ball of wool

Moment of Truth
Exam results

Money
The Royal Mint makes it first and you try to make it last

Monologue
An unmarried piece of wood

Mortar Board
What teachers who used to be bricklayers wear

Mosquito
A flying hypodermic needle

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Motel
William Tell's sister

Mothball
What moths play football with

Mountain Climber
A man who always wants to take one more peak

Mountain Range
A cooker made specially for use at high altitudes

Mountebank
The place where the Canadian police keep their money

Multiplication Table
The longest table in the world

Multipli Storey
Very tall library

Mummy
An Egyptian pressed for time

Mushroom
The place where they cook school dinners

Mustard
The only thing that stays hot in the fridge

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Crazy Definitions : N

Nail
A long thin pointed object with a flat head which you aim at while hitting your thumb with a hammer

Narrow Minded
What you are when you have a splitting headache

Near Miss
Avoid bullies by standing close to the teacher

Neck Line
Vampire's target

Nectar
A garment worn round the neck

Neptune
Song heard under water

Nerve Cell
Where naughty nerves are kept in prison

Nick Name
Steal someone's name

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Nightingale
An evening out in a storm

Nightmare
Vampire horse

Night School
Vampire college

Nipper
Baby crab

North Pole
Someone who comes from Warsaw

Numbskull
Where small plants go

Nudist Camp
A place where hardly anything goes on

Nudist
Someone who goes around without a vest, a shirt or a jacket and wears trousers to match

Number
The first thing to take when you're run down

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Crazy Definitions : O

Obesity
Surplus gone to waist

Oblique
Time to call in the plumber

Oboe
A tramp

Octopus
A cat with eight feet

Odin
Noisy God

Odious
Poetry that stinks

Off Cut
Bad hairdo

Omelette
Prince of Denmark, a play by William Shakespeare rich in fowl play and eggsitement

Operetta
The person who answers when you dial too on the telephone

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Opportune
Music played on a pogo stick

Opportunist
Someone who meets a wolf at the door and the next day
appears wearing a fur coat

Optical
Tickle an opera singer

Optimism
The cheerful spirit that makes it possible for a kettle to whistle with boiling water up its nose

Optimist
A hope addict

Organ Grinder
Monster with food processor

Ottoman
A car mechanic

Out Of Bounds
An exhausted kangaroo

Outside Broadcast
Shout through window

Overcast
Through fishing rod into middle of river

Overgrown
Too big for last year's blazer

Oyster
What you shout when you want someone to lift up your mother

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Crazy Definitions : P

Pacifist
Someone who punches you on the nose peacefully

Paddock
Where horse ships dock

Painful
A glass house (Please remember that people who live in glass houses should undress in the basement)

Palatable
Tasty table for monsters to eat

Palaver
A kind of sweater

Pantry
The room where you keep your underwear

Pants
What trousers do on a long run up a steep hill

Paperweight
Heavy school bag

Parachute
A double-barrelled shotgun