Drinking jokes

[shihab1919]

Coincidence
In a kindergarten school, a teacher asked her class to give examples of coincidence.
There was a long silence, then a small boy said: "My father & my mother were married the same day."

[shihab1919]

Novel
A BLONDE is in the library , she bangs down a book and says :" too boring, too many characters and no story.
LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directory away??

[shihab1919]

Score
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in maths and 20 in science."

[shihab1919]

Score
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in maths and 20 in science."

[shihab1919]

HOME
A BLONDE tells her boyfriend, "Come home tomorrow, no one will be at home."
When he goes the next day to her home.......
Her door was locked.

[shihab1919]

Blunder
"James", said Martha, "it is our silver anniversary next tuesday. We should mark the occasion. Shall we kill the pig?"
The husband replied, "Kill the pig! What's the good of murdering an innocent pig for a blunder that happened twenty-five years ago?"

[shihab1919]

Vacation with pay
When Arthur Brisbane was about to complete fifty years of journalism, Mr. Hearst, his employer, urged him to take a six month vacation with pay. This magnanimous offer Brisbane refused to accept, saying there were two reasons for his doing so.
"The first reason, "he said," is that I quit writing my daily column for six months, it might affect the circulation of your daily newspaper, the second is that it might not affect the circulation."

[shihab1919]

Sunday School
A big advertising man had a small daughter who came home from Sunday School one day carrying a bundle of pamphlets and cards.
"And what do you have there?" asked the man. "Oh, nothing much," answered the little girl. "Just some ads about heaven."

[shihab1919]

Abu Abed Having Prostate"

Abu Abed was suffering some pain and went to see his doctor who checked him and told him that he had prostate....

Abu Abed went upset and told his good friend Abu Steif about his medical problem...

Abu Steif : Is the doctor sure that you have prostate ? Tell me how did he check you because as I know when the doctor check for the prostate he lies down on the bed, put one hand on your shoulder and the other down to check if you have a prostate...

Abu Abed upset started shouting and screaming

Abu Steif : "What is wrong with you...why did you suddenly started shouting and screaming ?

Abu Abed : " The Bastard ..had his two hand on my shoulder ...!"

[shihab1919]

Abu Abed totally stoned asked his friend Abu Steif: "Tell me please where the other side of the street ?

Abu Steif : It is right over there ...

Abu Abed : " Bastards... I was there on that side a while ago and they told me it is over here...!"