Animal Jokes....... {CLEAN}

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What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud?
A sheep that's under the weather!

Why do cows like being told jokes?
Because they like being amoosed!

What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'?
A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons!

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What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?
A groundhog!

How do you take a pig to hospital?
By hambulance!

What do you call a joke book for chickens?
A yolk book!

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Where do you take sick ponies?
To the horsepital!

What do you say if you see a flying pig?
'I see bacon's going up'!

Who tells chicken jokes?
Comedihens!

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What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes?
A swine gut!

Why did the chicken cross the road at the fairground?
To get to the other side!

What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?
'When I fall in love it will be for heifer'!

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Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air?
Because eggs were going up!

What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?
A cloud!

What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion!

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Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
In a hog cabin!

What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
A clotheshorse!

Why do pigs never recover from illness?
Because you have to kill them before you cure them!

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What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?
Udder nonsense!

What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
Use a cowculator!

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
'Dad, dad, look what marma-laid'!

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What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
A pigtail!

Where do cows go on a Saturday night?
To the moo-vies!

If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk!

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Why did the baby turkey bolt down his food?
Because he was a little gobbler!

Why did the starstruck chicken cross the road?
To see Gregory Peck!

What kind of tie does a pig wear?
Pig's tie!

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What is another name for a cow?
A lawn-mooer!

Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
Because she was afraid someone would caesar!

What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar!