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Thread: Things to do to Save Your Marriage: Stop Your Divorce

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    46,704

    Default Things to do to Save Your Marriage: Stop Your Divorce



    In the present day, it is somewhat obvious that marriage problems are on the increase. At times even the best of marriages can go through a traumatic phase, with more and more couples splitting up owing to a difficult relationship.

    However as divorce adversely affects the emotional, personal and social life of both the partners, itís best to do something positive to get to the bottom of marriage problems before they become too overwhelming. Doing nothing and hoping that things will work out simply wonít cut it.

    If you or your spouse fall into negative patterns in the way you relate to one another, you are not just in a rut, you are hurting one another and your marriage. You canít compromise or negotiate these behaviors away. You canít rationalize the behaviors as this is ďjust the way I am.Ē In order to save your marriage, these harmful behaviors must stop.

    When you exchanged vows, you promised your spouse that you would stay with them ďuntil death do you part.Ē So what happened to get you to the point that you are considering divorce? If you can remember what made you fall in love in the first place, you can learn how to save your marriage by following these simple tips.

    First of all Try to Keep Calm:

    In the sad event it should ever happen to your marriage, even though itís difficult not to, try not to get too downhearted. Simply sit down and begin to think seriously about how you can save the marriage.

    Whenever conditions in your marriage seem to be getting worse itís time to calmly tell yourself you need to take steps to save the marriage, starting right now, not tomorrow, before your marriage goes downhill any further.

    See a Marriage Counselor:
    If the situation feels too out of your control. A marriage counselor will provide neutral feedback on your relationship and wonít judge you. A good listener will help you figure out what to do more often than constant advice from people.

    If you and your partner can commit to seeing a marriage counselor together, you have a better chance of staying together as the message you give is clear- although times are rough, you both value the relationship enough to work through it.

    Bossy Partner:


    If an overbearing partner is a major cause of conflict in your marriage that can be a difficult problem to cure without professional help. These types of people have deep-seated emotional issues that are difficult to overcome and counseling of some sort is often the only way for them to change their behavior.

    Communication is Crucial:

    Good interaction is an essential feature in an healthy marriage, if you donít talk to each other then you will gradually drift apart emotionally. You must be able to disclose all your problems and feelings with your partner and in return you must also listen to your partnerís point of view and understand it.

    Once you have recognized the causes of your marriage problems, you can then look for real solutions.

    Learn to Forgive:

    People are far from perfect. Life is short, and holding grudges about the past is pointless. If your partner has wronged you let him or her know, but never make your partner feel bad about it afterward. This will bring up negative emotions that serve no purpose. If you have wronged your partner, apologies and mean it.

    Show Your Appreciation for Your Partner:

    Every one likes to know they are appreciated. Itís the little things that count. Saying Ďthank youí, complimenting your partner. Think of the qualities your partner has that you genuinely value and when your partner shows one of these (hopefully manyÖ) qualities, make him or her feel good about it.

    Other Options:

    If, despite all your hard work to save the marriage yourself, the problems are ongoing, you can consider other options. You may talk with your family or friends and seek their advice and support. If you feel self conscious discussing your marriage concerns with people that are close to you, you can go for marriage counseling to improve your communication skills.

    Marriage counselling can provide an outlet where couples can openly discuss their feelings and help to clear up any misconceptions that have built up in the marriage.

    Donít Try to Change You Partner:

    You canít. You both can compromise and alter your behavior out of consideration for your partner, but you canít change who your partner is.

    Will You Succeed?

    It can be difficult to keep any troubled relationship alive; it needs a lot of effort and a lot of fortitude and tolerance. Realize that saving a troubled marriage is not going to be easy but if you are single minded then why not make an effort before it gets too late? At least you can say you made an effort to save the marriage. Just remember this; the scars from a divorce can take a long time to fade.

    Keywords: Stop Your Divorce, Learn to Forgive, Bossy Partner, relationship, Marriage Counselor, Save Your Marriage, divorce

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3

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    These are some really helpful suggestion for desperate married people. Sometimes you have spent so much time with another person that it is difficult for you to identify what went wrong with the relationship. Often, it is the stress of work life that brings a spouse into pressure and he simply vents it out on another. It is important that a couple should stay connected with each other; communicating on a daily basis, sharing and discussing what troubles them individually and most of all, listening to one another. I believe that this can be the only way by which a couple can understand what they're going through. I agree with all the suggestions given here in this post, but my most favorite one is about not trying to change each other. Of course when you had chosen your spouse earlier, you must have known about the habits and practices; then why try to change them to fit your life style later. It's time you really loved who they are!
    Last edited by Blaze007; 12-03-2012 at 09:39 AM.

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