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Thread: Who said Google is best?

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    273

    Default Re: Who said Google is best?

    Quote Originally Posted by indianbaba
    Pl z follow the instructions below & enjoy the blunder made by Google.

    "Aishwarya's mom is very nice" in 'Translate text:' t extbox.
    its really funny
    good finding baba

  2. #22
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    Nov 2005
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    AT DORRS NEAR HEAVEN
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    Quote Originally Posted by indianbaba
    Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
    Son: I want to choose my own bride.
    Dad: But the girl is Ambani's daughter.
    Son: Well, in that case......yes.


    Next, the dad approaches Mukesh Ambani


    Dad: I have a husband for your daughter.
    Ambani:But my daughter is too young to marry.
    Dad: But this young man is a Vice- President of the World Bank.
    Ambani: Ah, in that case.....yes.

    Finally, the dad goes to see the president of the World Bank.


    Dad: I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.
    President: But I already have more vice-presidents than I need.
    Dad: But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law.
    President: Ah, in that case.......yes.


    Now, this is Concept Selling!
    this is wonderful baba

  3. #23
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    Aug 2005
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    Bangalore-India
    Posts
    388

    Default

    Good Collection Indainbaba, Thanks for sharing. Keep adding more with the same speed with which you have started of :-)

  4. #24
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    Aug 2005
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    India
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    thanks for the replies.
    TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS:

    QUESTION 1: If you knew a woman
    who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two
    who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you
    recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before
    scrolling down to the answer of this one.


    QUESTION 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote
    counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:

    CANDIDATE A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults
    with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes
    and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

    CANDIDATE B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon,
    used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every
    evening.

    CANDIDATE C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian,
    doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any
    extramarital affairs.

    Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first,
    then scroll down for the answer.

    !!
    !!
    !!
    !!

    !!
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    !!

    !!
    Answer 1 :
    And by the way - if you answered yes to the abortion question, you
    just killed Beethoven (all time great german music composer)

    Answer 2 :
    CANDIDATE A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
    CANDIDATE B is Winston Churchill
    CANDIDATE C is Adolph Hitler

    Pretty interesting isn't it. Makes a person think before judging
    someone

  5. #25
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    Aug 2005
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    India
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    Code:
    http://www.hiddenmeanings.com/ancient.html
    Yeh Sab sach hai kya!

  6. #26
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    Aug 2005
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    India
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    Can people really be this stupid?

    1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that I could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

    2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

    3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

    4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

    5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

    6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

    7. My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

    8. Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

    9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency.

  7. #27
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    Aug 2005
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    Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

    There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

    I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

    She sleepily replied,

    "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit."

  8. #28
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    A husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks at her husband and winks at him, he gets the message and says, "Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room for a little while."

    Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes him up to peek into the bedroom.

    "Before you look in there," he says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who smacked our asses just for sucking our thumbs."

  9. #29
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    A recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.

    Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?"

    "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

    "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

    "First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied, and again turned back to his book.

    "Do you live around here?" she asked.

    "Yes, I live over in Suntree," he answered, and then resumed reading.

    Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted. "Do you like pussycats?"
    With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

    As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

    The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

  10. #30
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    India
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    This recovering alcoholic is down town to pick up his income tax return. He passes by a bar and turns to go inside. He stops and thinks to himself "If I go in here and get drunk, my wife will leave me". He makes a promise to himself to only have a couple beers and then leave. Well he goes in and gets wasted. As he sits at the bar, he pukes down the front of his shirt. Immediately he breaks out into tears sobbing "My wife is going to leave me. I'm just a miserable old drunk and now I'm going to die alone". The guy sitting next to him turns and says to the drunk guy "It's not that bad. You can get out of this." The drunk looks at him and asks how in the world is he going to get out of this? The guy says "Take a $5 bill and put it in your shirt pocket. When you get home, tell her you had a couple beers and a guy puked on you.

    Tell her that the $5 was given to you to pay for the shirt." The drunk guy looks disbelievingly at him and says "That just might work. You are a saint. Thank you." The drunk guys goes straight home. When he walks through the front door, his wife is waiting for him and she is irate. She takes one look at him and screams "I can't believe it. You're drunk. I warned you but you just don't care. I'm moving out." The drunk says "Stop honey. Let me explain. True I did have a couple beers but I'm not drunk." She says " Look at you... you puked down the front of your shirt." He says "I didn't do this. A drunk guy next to me puked on me. He put a $5 bill in my shirt pocket to pay for the shirt. You can see for yourself" She reaches into his pocket and pulls out some money. She looks at it, then to him and says "This is a $10 bill" He looks at her and says "Oh I forgot. He shit my pants too".

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