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  1. #1
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    Default Who said Google is best?

    Pl z follow the instructions below & enjoy the blunder made by Google.


    01. Open www.Google .co.in

    02. Click 'language tools' link.

    03. Write "Aishwarya's mom is very nice" in 'Translate text:' t extbox.

    04. Select "English to Spanish" in the below combo.

    05. Press Translate and wait for translation.

    06. Now copy the translated text from the above text and paste it in the 'Translate text:' textbox.

    07. Select "Spanish to English" in the below combo.

    08. Press Translate and wait for translation.

    0 9. Enjoy.

  2. #2
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    Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
    Son: I want to choose my own bride.
    Dad: But the girl is Ambani's daughter.
    Son: Well, in that case......yes.


    Next, the dad approaches Mukesh Ambani


    Dad: I have a husband for your daughter.
    Ambani:But my daughter is too young to marry.
    Dad: But this young man is a Vice- President of the World Bank.
    Ambani: Ah, in that case.....yes.

    Finally, the dad goes to see the president of the World Bank.


    Dad: I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.
    President: But I already have more vice-presidents than I need.
    Dad: But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law.
    President: Ah, in that case.......yes.


    Now, this is Concept Selling!

  3. #3
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    1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.
    Bad: It's triplets.
    Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago.

    2. Good: Your wife is not talking to you.
    Bad: She wants a divorce.
    Ugly: She is a Lawyer.

    3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.
    Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
    Ugly: So are you.

    4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
    Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
    Ugly: You're in them.

    5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
    Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
    Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowedthem.

    6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.
    Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
    Ugly: He looks better than you.

    7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
    Bad: She keeps interrupting.
    Ugly: With corrections.

    8. Good: The postman's early.
    Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a gun.
    Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.

    9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.
    Bad: It's another man.
    Ugly: He's your best friend.

    10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.
    Bad: As a hooker.
    Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
    The Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!

  4. #4
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    WHAT A WIFE SAYS...AND MEANS

    The wife says: You want
    The wife means: You want

    The wife says: We need
    The wife means: I want

    The wife says: It's your decision
    The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious

    The wife says: Do what you want
    The wife means: You'll pay for this later

    The wife says: We need to talk
    The wife means: I need to complain

    The wife says: Sure... go ahead
    The wife means: I don't want you to

    The wife says: I'n not upset
    The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron

    The wife says: You're ... so manly
    The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot

    The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
    The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

    The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
    The wife means: I want a new house.

    The wife says: I want new curtains.
    The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!

    The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
    The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

    The wife says: Hang the picture there
    The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

    The wife says: I heard a noise
    The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

    The wife says: Do you love me?
    The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

    The wife says: How much do you love me?
    The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.

    The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.
    The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

    The wife says: Am I fat?
    The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.

    The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
    The wife means: Just agree with me.

    The wife says: Are you listening to me?
    The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]

    The wife says: Yes
    The wife means: No

    The wife says: No
    The wife means: No

    The wife says: Maybe
    The wife means: No

    The wife says: I'm sorry
    The wife means: You'll be sorry

    The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
    The wife means: You better get used to it

    The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish
    The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place.

    The wife says: Was that the baby?
    The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him

    The wife says: I'm not yelling!
    The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!

    In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

    The wife says: The same old thing.
    The wife means: Nothing.

    The wife says: Nothing.
    The wife means: Everything.

    The wife says: Nothing, really.
    The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.

    The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
    The wife means: I'm still building up steam.

  5. #5
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    Business is Business

    Pounds 20 to thechild who can tell me who was the most famous man who
    ever lived."
    An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St.
    Patrick."The
    teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not
    correct."Then a Scottish boy put his hand, up and said, "It was St.
    Andrew."

    The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.
    Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "Itwas Jesus
    Christ."The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jignesh,
    come up here andI'll give you the Pounds 20."
    As the teacher was giving Jignesh his money,she said, "You know Jignesh,
    since you're Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."


    Jignesh replied,"Yes, in my heart I knew it was LORD KRISHNA, but
    business is business!"

  6. #6
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    Sick Leave .......

    Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

    One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper.

    "This man," he announced, "Called in sick yesterday!"

    There on the sports page was a photo of the 'supposedly' ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

    The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator.

    "Wow," he said. "Think of the score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"

  7. #7
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    Rainstorm

    Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a customer service rep for the electric company, I was dispatching repairmen right and left.

    When one lineman called a customer to get her exact address, he was told, "I'm at Post Office Box 99."

    The weary lineman replied, "Ma'am, I'll be coming to you in a truck, not an envelope."

    [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.]

  8. #8
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    Weekend Passes.......

    Although I knew our commanding officer hated doling out weekend passes, I thought I had a good reason.

    "My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her," I told the C.O. Much to my surprise he said, "Permission granted."

    Inspired by my success, a fellow soldier also requested a weekend pass. His wife wasn't pregnant, so when the C.O. asked why he should grant him permission, my friend re- sponded, "My wife is getting pregnant this weekend and I want to be with her."

  9. #9
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    Young and old play golf.......

    A young man who was an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried, and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man.

    Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him. To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

    Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

    With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

    The old man leaned back on his golf bag and said, "Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

  10. #10
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    Hospital Sign.......

    A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:

    "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous."

    Underneath, a nurse had written:

    "The last five are pretty risky, too."

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