Materialistic Lawyer ** Updated with new jokes **

[Guttu]

Ha ha ha

Old one
But nice to recollect

[holisticpets]

Guttu, this is specially for you. Hope that you have not read it before

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."

[Guttu]

Cant stop it!!!!!!!!
gr8 joke man

[Guttu]

Cant stop it!!!!!!!!
gr8 joke man
I never read it anywhere else

[holisticpets]

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegeeables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" "The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself."

[holisticpets]

What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.


How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.


How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.


What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common?
Both suck when you plug them in.


How do you make a bass player turn down the volume?
Put a chart in front of him.


How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else's light.


What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
Counterpoint.


What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.


What's the best thing to play on a guitar?
Solitaire.


How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.



In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.

[rienron]

That is real fun joke. I will tell my friends....
Laugh out loud

[rohandesilva]

A man was racing in his car and a police man who noticed it started to chase him. The car driver took no notice. He kept accelerating. The policeman had a hard job. He even had to risk his life to stop the car.
Finally he managed to stop the car driver. Instead of yelling at the driver, he said "Just give me one good reason that anyone has never given me before, for speeding up when I was chasing you,and I'll let you go."
The car driver didn't think twice. "I thought you were bringing back my wife who got lost last week" he replied.

[Guttu]

@rohandesilva




toooo funny man!!!!
thats a gud reply by driver and surely police will leave him

[holisticpets]

A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart.

When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"

"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"

"I'm a gynecologist."