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Thread: Jokes by smart-go Part II

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006

    Default Jokes by smart-go Part II

    In a train compartment, there are three men and a ravishing young girl.
    The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the
    erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me
    $1.00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl,
    all pull a buck out of their wallet.

    And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she
    says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my
    thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar
    bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full.

    Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off
    their coats.

    Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you
    where I was operated on for appendicitis."

    All three fork over the money. The girl then turns to the window and
    points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the
    distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2005


    Nice joke.
    Post them all in one thread.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Mera Bharat Mahan


    Warning # 2

    If you post one joke per thread u'll get a ban
    follow the rules
    So its clear now repeat this one more time and you are out of the forum

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Mera Bharat Mahan



    Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time.

    First Soldier: Why did you join the army?

    Second Soldier: I didn't have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How
    about you? Why did you join the army?

    First Soldier: I had a wife and I loved peace. So I joined.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Mera Bharat Mahan


    A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were
    excessively mischievous. They were always getting into
    trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief
    occurred in their town, their sons were probably

    The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had
    been successful in disciplining children, so she asked
    if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed,
    but asked to
    see them individually.

    So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the
    morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in
    the afternoon.

    The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat
    the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is

    They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no
    response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open,

    So the clergyman repeated the question in an even
    sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no
    attempt to answer.

    So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook
    his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS

    The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran
    directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the
    door behind him.

    When his older brother found him in the closet, he
    asked, "What happened?"

    The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We
    are in BIG trouble this time, dude… God is missing —
    and they think WE did it!"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Mera Bharat Mahan



    Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

    1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class,
    sees them.
    (a) Yes
    (b) No

    2) If a girls laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
    (a) Yes (b) No

    3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop
    singing or not?
    (a) Yes (b) No

    4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
    You poked your nose inside..... right ?
    (a) Yes (b) No

    5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand
    (a) Yes (b) No

    6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
    (a)Yes (b) No

    7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
    (a) Yes (b) No

    8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it
    true ?
    (a) Yes (b) No

    9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come
    daily to Temple. Do you know ?
    (a) Yes (b) No

    If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving
    you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know
    the meaning of Love.

    Hope everything is clear to you.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Mera Bharat Mahan


    A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his

    My Dearest ,
    Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

    (a)10 marks,
    (b) 5marks and
    (c) 3 marks.

    1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me
    (a) of love
    (b) you couldn't control seeing me
    (c) really ... am I doing it?

    2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me
    (a) you always like to see me smiling
    (b) you are testing whether I like jokes
    (c) you are attracted by my smile

    3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you
    stopped singing because:
    (a) you are so coy to sing before
    (b) my presence influenced you
    (c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

    4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you
    hide it because:
    (a) you felt ashamed
    (b) you felt uneasy
    (c) you don't know

    5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and
    you took only my friend's
    (a) you enjoyed my disappointment
    (b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
    (c) you don't know

    6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
    (a)you were waiting for me
    (b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
    (c) that bus was crowded

    7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
    (a) I am going to be your groom
    (b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
    (c) just you felt like introducing me to them

    8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose
    your head because:
    (a) to fulfill my wish
    (b) you like roses
    (c) by chance you got a rose

    9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00
    A.M because:
    (a) you want to pray along with me
    (b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
    (c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.

    If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in
    expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in
    your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than
    30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not. Eagerly awaiting your

    Love, Ankur

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Mera Bharat Mahan


    N ow, here are some classic English sentences from the great Lecturer Edited by indianbaba. Don't use names here

    The stalwart talks to his students:

    # At the ground:

    All of you stand in a straight circle.

    There is no wind in the balloon..

    The girl with the mirror please comes here...{Means: girl with specs please come here).

    # To a boy, angrily:

    I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

    # While punishing students:

    You, rotate the ground four times...

    You, go and understand the tree...

    You three of you stand together separately.

    Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)

    # Sir at his best:

    Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see onee of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.

    So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you

    WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"

    # Sir at his best inside the Class room:

    Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.

    Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.

    Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.

    Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor

    Shhh.. Principal is rotating in the corridor....

    You, meet me behin! d the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)

    This one is coo! l >> "Both of u three get out of the class."

    Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...

    Tak! e Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....

    Take 5 cm wire of any length....

    Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences ...

    Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).


    "This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"


    "No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Mera Bharat Mahan


    The Burnt Ears

    One day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages.

    He said: "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear."

    The man asked "So what happened to your other ear?"

    He said "That same stupid guy called again"

    The Boss

    A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:
    "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
    The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
    "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
    The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his
    boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:

    "Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it. . . ."

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2005


    @Guttu, u do the work which i did after i became a moderator. Good job.

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