blonde jokes

[owaiz]

i love blonde jokes

guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had
great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he
asked her how she liked her first football game experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and
all those big muscles! Wow! But... I just can't understand why they
were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, and scratching his head. her date asked,

"What do you mean, 'over 25 cents'?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of
the game, all they kept screaming was:

'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"

------------
A blonde, Brunnette and a red head were all stuck on an Island...They found a magic lamp. They all rubbed it at the same time, and a genie popped out.

The Genie said " I will grant you each 1 wish"

The Brunnette said " I wish I was back at home, in my nice warm house"

*POOF* she was gone

The Redhead said " I wish I was back at home, in my nice warm house"

*POOF* she was gone

Then the Blonde said " d**n....this is hard to decide...I wish my friends were here to help me decide"
------

[joynow]

hehe............................

[Xain]

The first one is very funny, the second one is pretty funny also.. Good job with these, some more people should post some funny things though.

I'm not funny, I merely like to read funny things. =D

[owaiz]

hmm thanks-lol
i have somenew ones as well

a blondes weekly shcedule

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls

TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY: Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY: Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy).For some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tominto buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with chocolate moose.

[ranazu]

I think the first one is better then the scond

[dsmm]

the first one was a gret joke.
the second one, not so much. but keep posting any way.

[seadeut]

An old man went into confession and told the priest: "Father, I'm 81 years old, married, with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night i had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Twice."

"I see," said the priest. "When was the last time you were in confession?"

"Never, Father", replied the old man, "I'm Jewish".

"So why are you telling ME all that?!" asked the priest.

"Well," answered the man, "I'm telling everybody!"

[casacpaz]

Blond medical terminology
Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited

[RMS]

lol those are great did you make those up yourself or did you get them from somewhere?

[dsmm]

keep up the good work..