* funny definitions*
1.** **Cigarette:** A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at
one end & a fool at the other.*
*
2.** **Love affairs:** Something like cricket where one-day
internationals are more popular than a five day test.*
*
3.** **Marriage:** It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her master*
*
4.** **Divorce:** Future tense of marriage*
*
5.** Lecture:** An art of transferring information from the notes of
the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of either".*
*
6.** **Conference:** The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.*
*
7.** **Compromise:** The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.*
*
8.** **Tears:** The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water-power...*
*
9.** **Dictionary:** A place where divorce comes before marriage.*
*
10.** **Conference Room:** A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens & everybody disagrees later on.*
*
11 .** **Ecstasy:** A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a
feeling you have never felt before.*
*
12.** **Classic:** books which people praise, but do not read.*
*
13.** **Smile:** A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*
*
14.** **Office:** A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.*
*
15.** **Yawn:** The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
*
*
16.** **Etc.:** A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*
*
17.** **Committee:** Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.*
*
18.** **Experience:** The name men give to their mistakes.*
*
19.** **Atom Bomb:** An invention to end all inventions.*
*
20.** **Philosopher:** A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.*
*
21.** **Diplomat:** A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*
*
22.** **Opportunist:** A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.*
*
23.** **Optimist:** A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says
in midway "See I am not injured yet."*
*
24.** **Pessimist:** A person who says that O is the last letter in
ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.*
*
25.** **Miser:** A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*
*
26.** **Father:** A banker provided by nature.*
*
27 .** **Criminal:** A guy no different from the rest... except that
he got** **caught.*
*
28.** **Boss:** Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.*
*
29.** **Politician:** One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after?*
*
30.** **Doctor:** **A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.*
*
31.** **Computer Engineer:** **One who gets paid for reading such mails...*
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