Hahahah.........

[shweta]

The taxi driver & S.T Peter

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
“Come with me”, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

“Wow, thank you”, said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
“Wait, I think you are a little mixed up”, said the priest. “Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.”
“Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone pray

[rameshxavier]

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. "1,228," he answered.

"That's right! You may enter."

St. Peter turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

[shweta]

The indian life is best because…


* There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
* You make tea in a saucepan.
* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
* You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.

* You have a ‘Singer Brother’ sewing machine at home.
* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn’t talk to her for ten years.
* You call an older person you’ve never met before “uncle”.
* You hide everything from your parents.
* Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
* You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
* Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
* Everyone is a family friend.
* Everyone always called you for help on homework.
* You read law, medicine or engineering at university.
* You were thick so you read computer science or business instead.
* You know no one who has read music.
* You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
* Your best friend got married at the age of 16.
* You only make telephone calls after 6pm.
* You like the meat well done.
* You eat onions with everything.
* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
* You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
* You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.
* You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
* You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you’re with but the waiters don’t understand you.
* You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
* You always say “open the light” instead of “turn the light on”.
* You secure your baggage with a rope.
* You’re walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.
* You go back to your parents’ country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
* To your American friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid.
* Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names.
* Your parents call all your friends “Beta” whether they are Indian or not.
* If you aren’t married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it’s too late.
* You are sick and tired of answering questions about “the dot”.
* Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried.
* You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried.
* Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they’re not fighting.
* You notice that whenever you go to another Indian’s house, your parents always talk about businesses… especially if they’re for sale.
* The second you pull out of someone’s driveway, your parents start talking about them.
* Your parents worry what other people will think if you’re not going to be a doctor/lawyer/engineer.
* You’re parent’s always say, “It’s cheaper in India”

[annie]

hii shweta...great jokes and pitures
Thanks....

[crystalg]

hello.................

[rameshxavier]

Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put a worm in a glass of water and another in a glass of whiskey.
The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.
"All right, son," Said Will, "what does that show you?"
"Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not have worms."

[shweta]

Beggar and software developer

A beggar meets another beggar. A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question ???

So, Which Platform are you Working on ???

[shweta]

Long back..

Long back,
A person who sacrificed his sleep,
forgot his family,
forgot his food,
forgot laughter were called “SAINTS”
But now they are called….
….
….
..
..
..
.

.
.
.
“IT professionals/ Logistics Professionals”

[shweta]

Types of woman

HARD-DISK woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
INTERNET woman:
Difficult to access.
SERVER woman:
Always busy when you need her.
CD-ROM woman:
She is always faster and faster.
EMAIL woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman:
Also called “wife”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t you will lose everything!!

[rameshxavier]

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"

Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track."
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.
"Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there", answers Tom.

"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.
"Then," Tom continued, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"In that case," Tom argued, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".
"What if that had been vandalized?"
"Oh well," said Tom, "in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo".
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"
"Because he's never seen a train crash