Want to Laugh ??? Click Here

[annie]

Every person laughs several times a day for different reasons - after hearing a joke, watching a comedy movie or reading a comic book. Humor is one of the important senses that human being is blessed with. Laughing expresses a feeling of happiness. Humor and laughter are contagious and they cause a cumulative effect of amusement and joy. In addition, they offer a number of positive health benefits.

Laughter makes it easier for us to cope with different challenges in life. It improves and strengthens our immune system and helps prevent a number of diseases. Laughter therapy can be used to cure several diseases such as hypertension, ulcers, arthritis, stroke, diabetes and even heart diseases. It offers good relaxation and helps you relieve stress and depression.

Laughter reduces the levels of certain hormones, namely cortisol, growth hormone, epinephrine and dopac, which are associated with stress response. Thus it helps relieve stress, depression, anxiety, grief, anger and irritation. Laughing also decreases pain by releasing a hormone, endorphins. It improves our attentiveness, pulse and heart rate.

Laughing is proven to be very beneficial for the people suffering from hypertension. It helps lower the blood pressure to normal. Laughing causes deeper breathing and increase in blood flow, due to which oxygen and essential nutrients are supplied to all body parts.

Laughter is a good workout for respiratory, abdominal, leg, back and facial muscles. It tones intestinal functioning, massages abdominal organs and strengthens abdominal muscles. This activity is advantageous for digestion as well as absorption. Laughter also helps burn calories and is beneficial for weight loss.

In addition to physical health benefits, laughing offers several psychological health benefits. It boosts self-confidence and gives mental strength to cope with conflicts and challenges in life. It also helps us come out of anxiety and depression. It improves out mental health and makes us forget all the tensions in our daily busy lives.

Laughing enhances our ability to connect with others. It also causes a number of behavioral changes. It makes us energized and increases our interest in daily activities.

Laughing also offers many social benefits. A person with a smiling face is always popular amongst a group. It lessens the distance between two individuals and brings them together. It increases healthy communication with others.

Laughter positively affects many aspects of your life, including your health, well-being and energy, leading to a healthy, quality life. So always smile, it improves your face value too.

[annie]

Why husband avoid questions..


Wife: What would you do if I died ? would you get married again ?

Husband: Definitely not!

Wife: Why not ? Don’t you like being married ?

Husband: Off course I do!

Wife: Then why wouldn’t you remarry ?

Husband: Okay Okay I’d get married again!

Wife: You would ?

Husband: -------------- ?

Wife: Would you live in our house ?

Husband: Sure! It’s a great house..

Wife: Would you let her drive my car ?

Husband: Probably! Its almost new

Wife: Would you replace my pictures with hers ?

Husband: That would seem like the proper thing to do..

Wife: Would you give her my Jewelry ?

Husband: No I am sure she’d want her own!

Wife: Would she wear my shoes ?

Husband: No! her size is 6…

Wife: -SILENCE-

Husband: O SHIT

[annie]

Power Of Wife

A Wife is a Wife No Matter Who The HELL YOU ARE!!
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[annie]

The Secret to a Happy Married Life!



Once I was asked by my Friend, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

I said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and
Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

He asked, "Can you explain?"

I said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, Friend asked me "Give me some examples"

I said," Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator , monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

He asked, "Then what is your role?"

I said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire, etc etc and Do you know one thing,

My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these"…………!!!!!!

[annie]

Healthy Benefits of Laughter



Laughter is a waterfall, a cascade of inner joy spilling out. Don't be afraid to laugh unrestrainedly- loud and long. Never curb it.

Laughter is not only one of the sweetest sounds of life, but a release from pain. A fun-loving cousin of deep-breathing, it makes you inhale six times more oxygen than you normally would.

Research has shown that it aids digestion and the secretion of favourable glandular hormones. There is a growing belief in the west amongst fitness experts that watching a sitcom increases the immune response of the body and keeps away pesky illnesses.

What is laughter after all? It is a reflex that sets your diaphragm going. The involuntary gusts that shake it make your respiratory muscles rapidly expand and contract. Hence it enhances your breathing apparatus and improves your circulation. The expansion and contraction increases the chest cavity and the lungs find themselves inhaling more oxygen while simultaneously expelling more carbon dioxide than they do when you are breathing normally. Which is why you sometimes end up feeling slightly breathless after a good hearty laugh.

Though not conclusive, more and more experts are beginning to believe that laughter also releases endorphin - the body's natural painkiller. Analysis of the endorphin hormone shows that it contains opiod peptides -a group of proteins which closely resembles opium or morphine in its chemical structure. Where a synthetic analgesic numbs you to pain, the natural endorphin detaches you from discomfort by stimulating certain transmitters that block the painful sensations.

Fun Time

Poison in Heart (FACT)

A Snake has its poison in it's teeth...

A Dog has its poison in it's Tongue...

A Scorpio has its poison in it's Tale...

Its only the Human who have poison in their Hearts...

[annie]

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak
is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken
. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[annie]

Bill's company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"

Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.


He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."

Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

[annie]

Best of Customer and Tech Support
Help desk realities:
Still wondering why call center people get paid so much (..........)
for just being on the phone, take a look and you will get the answers:
---------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
---------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
---------------------------------------------------------

Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

---------------------------------------------------------
Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?!%#$

---------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

---------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."

---------------------------------------------------------


Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"




Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery
store."

---------------------------------------------------------


Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
---------------------------------------------------------

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

---------------------------------------------------------


Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

---------------------------------------------------------


Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

---------------------------------------------------------

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his
computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.
Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file.
Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

---------------------------------------------------------


Customer Care Officer: "I need a product identification no. right now
and may I help u in finding it out?"
Customer: "Sure"
CCO: "Could u left click on start and find 'MyComputer'?"
Customer: "I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?"

[annie]

Universal Truth...

" WE ARE JUST FRIENDS "

Girl use this sentence when they want to start the relation...

Boys use it when they want to end the relation...

================================================== ==


Smile :- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Rumor :- News that travels at the speed of sound.
Dictionary:- The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
College :- A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Ecstasy :- A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Office :- A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Yawn :- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc. :- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Classic :- A book which people praise, but do not read.
Marriage :- It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master's.
Worry :- Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.
Tears :- The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Atom Bomb :- An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:-A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat :- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Optimist :- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser :- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father :- A banker provided by nature.
Criminal :- A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.
Boss :- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:- One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Software Engineer:- Who is paid for reading this mail.

[annie]

Over Confidence..

1. Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella...

THAT'S FAITH

2. When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her...

THAT'S TRUST

3. Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next Morning but still we set the alarms in our watch to wake up...

THAT'S HOPE

4. We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future or having any certainty of uncertainties...

THAT'S CONFIDENCE

5. We see the world suffering. We know there is every possibility of same or similar things happening to us. But still we get married??...

THAT'S OVER CONFIDENCE!!