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Thread: Funny Quotes

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2010

    Default Funny Quotes

    We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
    Phyllis Diller

    A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
    Samuel Butler

    If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
    Carl Sagan

    People used to explore the dimensions of reality by taking LSD to make the world look weird.
    Now the world is weird and they take Prozac to make it look normal.

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
    Redd Foxx

    Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
    Gordon R. Dickson

    One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
    Will Durant

    Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it?

    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man.

    My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
    Eric Morecambe

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
    Rita Mae Brown

    Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
    Carl Gustav Jung

    I never set out to be weird. It was always the other people who called me weird.
    Frank Zappa

    If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
    Ogden Nash

    Science may be described as the art of systematic over-simplification.
    Sir Karl Raymund Popper

    Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously.
    Cincinnati Enquirer

    Keywords: crazy jokes, jokes, funny quotes,funny pictures, funny movies

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2011

    Default haha


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