** BizHat.com Joke Mail
** August 2005
** http://jokes.bizhat.com

==> JOKE #1 <==

18 years...

A guy in a pub says: For 18 years me and my wife have been happy...
The other guy says: What happened then?
The man replies: Then we met each other

==> JOKE #2 <==

Love (Yea right!)

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.

"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

"Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?"

"Opened a can of peas."

==> JOKE #3 <==

A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job.

"We don't need any one," they replied.

"You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anytime any thing."

"We have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job."

He was gone for about two hours and returned and handed them two checks, one for a $80,000 policy and another for a $50,000 policy.

"How in the world did you do that," they asked.

"I told you I'm the world's best salesman, I can sell anyone anywhere anytime."

"Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him.

"What's that?" he asked. "Well, if you sell a policy over $40,000 the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples."

He was gone for about eight hours and then he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and says, "Here's Mr. Brown's and this one is Mr. Smith's."

"That's good," they said, "but what's in those two buckets?"

"Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers convention and I sold them a group policy!"

==> JOKE #4 <==

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"

"Do you drink a lot?"

"Not really - I spill most of it!"

==> JOKE #5 <==

"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"

"Yes, of course..."

"Great! I never could before!"


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