sardar joookes(GREATEST COLLECTION)

**karthikjj** · 11-22-2005, 06:42 AM

Report from Banta Singh to his manager:

Dear Sir,

Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.

We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:

Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December

As well as:

Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak.

I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? We'll await your direction."

Very Sincerelk,

Banta.S

Y to K Project Leader

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The opening Indian batsmen in a One-Day match against the Pakistan were Sachin Tendulkar and a new find,sardar Stroke Singh. Shoaib Akhtar, the pace bowler,opened the bowling for his side. The first ball went sizzling past the off-stump.ZOOOM........... and was collected by the wicketkeeper.

Sardar Stroke Singh did not as much as budge from his place. Shoaib bowled his second, third and fourth balls...

ZOOOM... ZOOOM... ZOOOM.......

all about the wicket with Stroke Singh standing still as a statue.

The fifth delivery was declared "No ball" by the umpire.

Like a trueprofessional Sardar Stroke Singh went tapping the pitch midway towards Sachin Tendulkar and said, "I knew from the very beginning the fellow did not have a ball in his hand."

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Four men were driving across the country. One was a Bengali from Calcutta , one from Cochin , one a Bangalore huduga and the last A Software engineer from God knows where...

Shortly after the trip began, the Man from Cochin started pulling coconuts from his bag and throwing them out of the window.

"What the heck are you doing?" demanded the Bengali.

"We have so many of these darn things in Kerala, I am just sick of looking at them!"

A moment later, the guy from Calcutta began pulling rasgullas* from his bag and tossing them from the window.

"What are you doing that for?" asked the guy from Kerala.

"We have so many of these things in Calcutta, I am just sick of looking at them!"

Inspired, the guy from bangalore opened the car door and pushed the Software engineer out. !!

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One day because to put off weight, one Sardar goes to a doctor for treatment.

The doctor advises the Sardar to walk 10 KM everyday and asks him to see him after a month.

After a month, Sardar calls the doctor and says the doctor that ,treatment was fine n he could loose weight.

But....,the sardar says,I lost weight but,I was away from house at a distance of 300km.

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Two sardars go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener.

The first sardar turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."

"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."

"I promise I won't," says the sardar. "Just hurry!"

Two full days pass and there's still no sign of the second sardar. Exasperated and starving, the first sardar digs into the sandwiches.

Suddenly, the second sardar pops out from behind a rock and yells, "THATS IT!!! I knew it....now I'm not going!"

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A policeman was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first SARDAR a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first SARDAR answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says,"Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second SARDAR and asks his, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second SARDAR smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third SARDAR and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The SARDAR looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contactlenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the SARDAR replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

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Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interview for prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 of them. Interviewer : WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy : Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

Harvard Guy : Its the Thought, b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind

MIT guy : Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

SANTA SINGH : Its Diarrhea

Interviewer : shocked to hear santa's reply, asked "WHY" ?

SANTA SINGH : Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

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Women- I Love you too
Sardar - I Love You THREEE

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Sardar - Why r all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar - If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

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Wife - It seems Husband & Wife are not allowed to be together in heaven...

Sardar - Yes, that's why it's called heaven..

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Man: Sardarji, where were you born?
Sardarji: PUNJAB.
Man: Which Part?
Sardarji: Oye!Part part kya kar raha hai,whole body born in
Punjab.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Day Sardar's Girlfriend asks him,

Girlfriend: "Darling,on our Engagement will you give me a RING?"

Sardar: "Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No."

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A Teacher told all Students in a class to write an essay on a

Cricket Match. All were busy in writing except one Sardar.

He Wrote as "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH"

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Sardar was Standing in front of the Mirror with his eyes closed.
Wife - What do you think you are doing?
Sardar - I just want to know how i look when I sleep...

**karthikjj** · 11-22-2005, 06:58 AM

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two
large
bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'
'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out
and
finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and
has
the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand
in
the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags,
hefts
them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?'
'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain
nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the
border on his bike.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal,
meets
him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's
driving
me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between
you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

**indianbaba** · 11-26-2005, 08:36 PM

Good jokes karthikjj. But i have read some. And the last one is copied from the famous ThenaliRaman's story.
Anyway nice effort dude.

**r99** · 02-22-2006, 09:12 PM

Adventures of Jugnu Singh

Jugnu Singh sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing. The bystander: A Marathon race is going on Jugnu Singh : What do they get from that? Bystander : The winner will get a prize. Jugnu Singh: Then why are the others running?!

Jugnu Singh & American Friend
Jugnu Singh and an American were walking outside,
when the American said, "Oh, look at the dead bird."
Jugnu Singh looked towards the sky and said "Where, where!?"

Jugnu from Punjab!
Jugnu Singh: I was born in the Punjab.
Harpal Singh: Oh really, which part?
Jugnu Singh: All of me, silly.