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Thread: what they mean

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    india
    Posts
    61

    Default what they mean

    "COMPETITIVE SALARY" --- TCS
    We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

    "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" --- ACCENTURE
    We have no time to train you.

    "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" -- COGNIZANT

    we don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

    "MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" --- SIEMENS
    You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

    "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" --- WIPRO
    Some time each night and some time each weekend.

    "DUTIES WILL VARY" --- IBM
    Anyone in the office can boss you around.

    "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" --- POLARIS
    We have no quality control.

    "CAREER-MINDED" --- SAPLABS
    Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). very true

    "APPLY IN PERSON" --- AOL
    If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

    "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" --- NOVELL
    We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

    "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" --- HCL
    You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

    "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" --- INFOSYS
    You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

    "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" --- SATYAM
    You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    india
    Posts
    61

    Default funnnnnnnnnny

    January to december
    sunday to saturday
    Am to Pm
    My feelings for u have never changed.......
    u....
    R....
    always....
    a HEADACHE to me !!!!



    When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
    the world seems to be fading away,
    come along with me
    i'll take u to an eye specialist !!



    If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
    Ans : the days after marriage



    During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit
    on the
    horse
    ?
    He is given his last chance to run away.



    Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds......
    Open ur eyes !
    Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a

    fool............



    I wrote ur name on the sands.............
    it got washed away,
    I wrote ur name in air..........................
    it got blown away,
    So i wrote ur name in my heart.............

    i got a HEART ATTACK



    The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
    The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too
    much, fell
    into the well, and drowned.
    The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really
    works!"



    LOVE is like a CIGAR
    It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in
    ashes...
    But dont worry - we are chain smokers



    ur smile can be compared to a flower
    ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
    ur inocence to a child
    but in stupidity
    u have no comparison
    u r the best



    True love is like a pillow
    u can hug when u r in trouble
    u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
    so when u need true love
    spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow




    Dear Friend,

    when i ask u flower,
    u give me bouquet
    when i ask u a stone
    u give me a statue
    when i ask u a feather
    u give me peacock

    ARE U REALLY DEAF ?



    I had VODKA with WATER
    I felt DRUNK
    I had WHISKY with WATER
    I felt DRUNK
    I had RUM with WATER
    I felt DRUNK
    I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!



    when i call u;
    1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
    2 ring means i like u;
    3 means i miss u;
    4 means ........pick d phone idiot



    Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change
    it to
    exclamatory sentence ..
    Student : WOW !




    The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
    it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
    it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in
    love



    SMILE - is a language of love
    SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
    SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
    SO....
    Brush ur Teeth today onwards



    A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
    A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
    A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..



    History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
    Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26
    sir....



    Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the
    class
    Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide

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