what they mean

[karthikjj]

"COMPETITIVE SALARY" --- TCS
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" --- ACCENTURE
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" -- COGNIZANT

we don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" --- SIEMENS
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" --- WIPRO
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY" --- IBM
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" --- POLARIS
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED" --- SAPLABS
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). – very true

"APPLY IN PERSON" --- AOL
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" --- NOVELL
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" --- HCL
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" --- INFOSYS
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" --- SATYAM
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

[karthikjj]

January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed.......
u....
R....
always....
a HEADACHE to me !!!!



When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i'll take u to an eye specialist !!



If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage



During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit
on the
horse
?
He is given his last chance to run away.



Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds......
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a

fool............



I wrote ur name on the sands.............
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air..........................
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart.............

i got a HEART ATTACK



The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too
much, fell
into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really
works!"



LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in
ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers



ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best



True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow




Dear Friend,

when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?



I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!



when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ........pick d phone idiot



Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change
it to
exclamatory sentence ..
Student : WOW !




The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in
love



SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards



A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..



History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26
sir....



Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the
class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide