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Thread: Facts & jokes... 120+ fun photos , jokes

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Facts & jokes... 120+ fun photos , jokes

    Please use left ear while using cell (mobile), because if you use the right one it will affect brain directly

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Ever Wonder Why

    EVER WONDER ~~~~
    >>Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    >>Why women can't put on mascara with their
    >>mouth closed?
    >>Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery "?
    >>Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
    >>Why is it that doctors call what they do
    >>Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
    >>Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
    >>liquid is made with real lemons?
    >>Why is the man who invests all your money
    >>called a broker?
    >>Why is the time of day with the slowest
    >>traffic called rush hour?
    >>Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    >>When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
    >>Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    >>Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    >>You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
    >>Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
    >>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    >>Why are they called apartments when they
    >>are all stuck together?
    >>If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
    >>If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
    >>In case you needed further proof that the
    >>human race is doomed through stupidity,
    >>here are some actual label instructions
    >>on consumer goods.
    >>On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while
    >>sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
    >>On a bag of Fritos:.You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
    >>Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
    >>On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and
    >>that would be how??..)
    >>On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    >>(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
    >>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
    >>bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
    >>On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
    >>heating." (...and you thought????...)
    >>On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
    >>(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
    >>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
    >>machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to
    >>reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get
    >>those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
    >>On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm
    >>taking this because???....)
    >>On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
    >>only." (as opposed to...what)?
    >>On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
    >>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
    >>On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news
    >>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    >>"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe,
    >>On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
    >>enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents
    >>for this one.)
    >>Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
    >>stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to
    >>(maybe even a chuckle) other words send it to everyone. We all
    >>need to smile every once in a while.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Reduce weight in a day

    One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore
    > sees an ad for a new
    > gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10
    > or 20 kilograms on
    > the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to
    > lose 5 kg. They
    > lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and
    > parallel bars and
    > ladders and tell him to wait a minute.
    > He's standing there when on the far side of the gym
    > a door opens and
    > out
    > steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying "If you
    > catch me, I'm
    > yours."
    > He starts running, and just as he gets close, she
    > starts picking up
    > speed.
    > Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym,
    > up the ladders, down
    > the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and
    > there. And just as he's
    > about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears
    > through a door. In comes
    > the management who lead him to the showers, and then
    > weigh him. Sure
    > enough, he lost exactly 5kg.
    > He's back on the street and starts to think.
    > "God, I was so close to catching her. If I had a
    > little more time...
    > So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to
    > lose 20 more kg."
    > "No problem," says the manager.
    > Again he is led to the large gym. This time he's
    > standing by the door
    > when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign, "If
    > I catch you, you're
    > mine."

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Indian Citizens read this ....

    Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)

    Monthly Salary : 12,000
    Expense for Constitution per month : 10,000
    Office expenditure per month : 14,000

    Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000 (For a visit to Delhi & return: 6000 km)

    Daily BETA during parliament meets : 500

    Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train : Free (For any number of times)
    (All over India)

    Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year
    (With wife or P.A.)

    Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free

    Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units

    Local phone call charge : Free up to 1,70,000 calls.

    TOTAL expense for a MP per year : 32,00,000

    TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000

    For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years : 8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 cores)
    And they are elected by THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, by the largest democratic process
    in the world, not intruded into the parliament on their own or by any qualification.
    This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities.......
    Think of the great democracy we have.............

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Indian Politicians Application

    Application Form for Politicians

    Application Form To Be Filled For Contesting Indian Elections

    1. Name of Candidate : _______________________
    2. Present Address
    (i) Name of Jail : _______________________
    (ii) Cell Number : _______________________

    3. Political Party : _______________________
    (List ONLY the Last Five parties in the Chronological (Order)

    4. Sex: [ ]
    A - Male
    B - Female
    C - Mayawati

    5. Nationality: [ ]
    A - Italian
    B - Indian

    6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
    A - Defected
    B - Expelled
    C - Bought out
    D - None of above
    E - All of above

    7. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
    A - To make money
    B - To escape court trial
    C - To grossly misuse power
    D - To serve the public
    E - I have no clue
    (if you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized Government Psychiatrist)

    8. How many years of public service experience do you possess?
    A - 1-2 yrs
    B - 2-6yrs
    C - 6-15yrs
    D - 15+yrs

    9. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as
    many Additional Sheets as you want)

    10. How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ]
    (Do not confuse with question 8)
    A - 1-2 years
    B - 2-6 years
    C - 6-15 years
    D - 15+years

    11. Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
    A - Why not
    B - Of Course
    C - Definitely
    D - I deny it all
    E - I see a foreign hand.

    12. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
    A - 100-500 Crores
    B - 500-1000 Crores
    C - Overflow...
    (Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)

    13. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ]
    A - No
    B - No
    C - No
    D - No

    14. Describe your achievements in space provided: [_________]

    Thumb Impression of candidate
    (Not that of the person who filled the form)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Skills in china

    Skills found only in China

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default China Photos 2

    Photos found in china Part 2 :-

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Photo of the year

    photo of the year

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Those who consider themselves intelligent see this

    Can you find a solution to my problem ?

    count the number of people and wait for the image to change and then count again

    Is the number of people 12 or 13 ?

    At the begining it appears 12

    and then after the shuffle takes place it appears to be 13 ...!

    Why and how ?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2004


    12 people, is that really even a joke?

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