(A+) t o d a y 's j o k e

[Tricolor23]

hheheheheheh
very funny this one

[pH]

After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend
home for a late-night drink.

"You can't make any noise," she warned him. "My parents are
upstairs and if they find out they'll kill us."

Things started getting heated on the sofa, but after a while
alcohol got the better of the man. "I have to...go" he said.

"Well you can't go upstairs. The bathroom is right next to my
parents' bedroom," she replied. "Use the kitchen sink."

So he dutifully retired to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he
popped his head around the door and asked,

"Do you have any toilet paper, or should I just use a paper
towel?"

[pH]

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter,
who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a
menu.

"I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just
bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it
and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile
and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table
and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and
takes in a deep breath.

"Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the
kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her
what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly
brings him a menu again.

"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty
fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to
the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says,

"That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and cheese with
broccoli.

Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks maybe the
blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the
next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The
blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him
coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this
fork around your crotch before I take it to the blind man." Mary
complies and hands her husband the fork back.

As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and
waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I
already have the fork ready for you."

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and
says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here"

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a
menu.

This is just fantastic.. I'd give 100 out of 100. Nice one pH. I am getting hungry now.. expecting more to come... :-)

[turtlebug]

LOL! I read the first two jokes only so far cause my eyes are hurtin from so much reading in the dark @_@ They were Hilarious!

[nomi2006]

Leme add 1 too ..
Once man bought a melon when he cut he found a ghost inside it .. The ghost asked
What You Need MyLord??
A Big House ... He Replied
O Fool If I Had House Why Shud I Live In A Melon ..

[nomi2006]

One More On Public Demand ..
Once a dr. visited a mental hosp. he found one man hanging like a bat one the roof .. he asked the nurse why this man is doing like this .. She said .. He thought himself as a bulb .. Dr. said tell him to come down ...
Then who gonna give the light ??? The nurse replied ...

[pH]

thanks for the comments dudes..

[nomi2006]

Mention NOt Dear .. Here is one more specially in india sikhs are plenty like we have pathans ...
Once a sikh thought to fool indian railway .. he thought for a longtime and finally buy one ticket but dint travel in the rail ...

Once a sikh to another sikh on phone
Hi! Main bol raha hu
Kamal Hai Idher bhi Main Bolraha hu (2nd Sikh)

A sikh after long running long catches a bus and asked conductor ..
Oye ye bus teri ma lagti hai
Nahi .. (Conductor)
Behen Lagti hai
Nahi (conductor)
To Sale Chadne Kyu Nahi Deta ???

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?"

"Of course my child, What can I do for you?"

"Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"

"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie."

"You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'.

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son",he replied.

Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?"

The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used."

Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said,"Go ahead Father. Next!"