Page 7 of 17 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast
Results 61 to 70 of 164

Thread: (A+) t o d a y 's j o k e

  1. #61
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Bangalore-India
    Posts
    388

    Default

    A lonely spinster, age 70, decided it was time to get married.
    She put an ad in the paper that read:
    HUSBAND WANTED
    MUST BE MY AGE GROUP (70's),
    MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME
    MUST NOT BEAT ME
    AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED
    ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON

    On the second day, she heard the doorbell.

    She opened the door and, much to her dismay, saw a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

    The woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?

    Just look at you ..... you have no legs."

    The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

    She snorted. "You don't have any arms or hands, either!"

    Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

    She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "But are you still good in bed?"

    With that, the old gentleman beamed a broad smile and said,

    "I rang your doorbell, didn't !?"

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Bangalore-India
    Posts
    388

    Default

    One day Lord Shiva decided to visit the earth and try some alcohol.

    So he changed his get-up and went to a bar in Delhi and asked the bartender: "What all do u have".

    Bartender: "We have whisky, rum, vodka, gin, beer etc.".

    Lord Shiva: "Let's try whisky first, give me 5 bottles of whisky".

    After having 5 bottles of whisky, Lord Shiva decided to try Rum.

    Bartender was shocked:"Who is this man, after having 5 bottles of whisky, he is still on his feet".

    After having 5 bottles of Rum, Shiva decided to have beer. After having 40 bottles of beer, he asked the bartender for Gin.

    Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him: "Sir, who are you?? I’ve seen people getting drunk after having 4 glasses of whisky, and you've almost had 50 bottles and you are still on your feet, who are you"???

    Lord Shiva: "VATS, Hum Bhagwaan Shiv hain". (“Dear, I am Lord Shiva”)

    Bartender: AB CHADHI ISKO!!! (“NOW ONLY THIS GUY GOT DRUNK!!!”)

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Mera Bharat Mahan
    Posts
    1,961

    Default

    First two are gr8

    last one is a repost
    but it was a diff kind
    means there was some other person instead of lord shiva

    keep updatin dude
    Its a gud relief to


  4. #64
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    India
    Posts
    1,544

    Default

    Except the last one all others are repost, i think.
    Keep sharing neeraj.

  5. #65
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    273

    Default

    thanks neeraj for sharing the good jokes and bringing up this thread always..

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    273

    Default

    A Sad Story



    Three friends were working in a same office & lived in a same flat which

    is in the 110th floor in New York City.



    One day while they were

    returning from their office the lift was not working.So they decided to

    climb by foot to their 110th floor.





    To pass the time & not get bored they agreed to tell some story, that 1st

    person should tell a story above a war, 2nd person a romance & 3rd person

    a very very sad story.



    First person told about US & Vietnam war they reached 50th floor, Second

    person completed his romance story when they reached 109th floor.Now it's

    turn for the third person to tell a very very sad story.
























    SCROLL DOWN....

























    He told "I have forgotten to bring the Flat Key".

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    India
    Posts
    1,544

    Default

    That was a nice joke.
    But i have read that before.
    Keep sharing.

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Bangalore-India
    Posts
    388

    Default

    Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table.
    The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat.

    "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says.

    The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants.

    "Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin’ French toast for me," he says.

    She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast.

    "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast."

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Bangalore-India
    Posts
    388

    Default

    A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken."

    The doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?"

    The guy says, "We would. But we need the eggs."

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Bangalore-India
    Posts
    388

    Default

    Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money.

    They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill.

    "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.

Page 7 of 17 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •