(A+) t o d a y 's j o k e

[indianbaba]

That was a great non-adult joke. Nice one.
Thanks for sharing neerajsingh.

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

A guy enters bar carrying an alligator.

Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees.

The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks.

Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."

After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman.

"I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in.

In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room."

In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again.

Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room."

Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee.

On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!"

[indianbaba]

Thanks. I will read them later and comment.

[pH]

good updates
thanks for that neeraj

[Guttu]

gr8 jokes again man
keep updating the thread

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Thanks Guttu, pH and Indianbaba for consistently encouraging the posters.

Here is one more.

A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business.

"Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door you realize she’s given you two $100 bills. Now, here’s where the ethics come in: should you or should you not tell your partner?"

(Henny Youngman)

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

A Jewish man is walking on the beach when he discovers a bottle containing genie. He rubs it and a genie comes out, promises to grant him one wish.

He says, "Peace in the Middle east, that's my wish."

The genie looks concerned, then says "No, I'm sorry, that's just not possible.

Some things just can't be changed. Do you have another wish?"

The guys says 'Well...for my whole life I've never receievd oral sex from my wife. That would be my wish."

The genie pauses for another moment and then says "How would you define peace?"

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Two ministers doing missionary work in the South Seas are captured by a tribe and tied to stakes.

The chief says to them, "You have a choice - death, or ugga bugga."

The first guy says, "Well, I guess ugga bugga."

The chief shouts "UGGA BUGGA!" and 30 members of the tribe attack and sodomize the first missionary.

The chief then asks the second minister, "Now you have a choice, death or ugga bugga."

He says "well, my religion does not allow me to choose ugga bugga, so I suppose it must be death."

The chief says, "Very well," and shouts "UGGA BUGGA! Till Death

[indianbaba]

For the first one, the lady's money should be returned promptly.
I didn't understand the third one. The second one was nice.
Keep posting.