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Thread: (A+) t o d a y 's j o k e

  1. #141
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    A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Wal-Mart associate is standing there wearing dark shades.

    She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?

    He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes. She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

    He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb. test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

    She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.

    She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted.* Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

    The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."

    The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

    He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.

  2. #142
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    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

    But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more important to me.

    Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

    I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house........

    I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

    "When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk."

  3. #143
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    A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation ...

    (She is speaking in a cheery voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye."

    She hangs up the telephone, and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

    "Oh," she replies," that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having with you on his fishing trip."

  4. #144
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    The last one was simply superb.
    Keep posting neerajsingh.

  5. #145
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    May 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by http://neerajsingh.bizhat
    Hehe! Tamaguchi, anyone?

  6. #146
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    Manmohan Singh to Bush : We're sending Indians to moon next year!

    Bush : Wow !! How many ??

    Manmohan Singh to Bush : 100 !! 25 OBC, 20 SC, 15 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports personnals n 2 Kashmiri migrants, 8 politicians, 18 General and if possible 2 Astronaouts!!




  7. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by http://neerajsingh.bizhat
    Manmohan Singh to Bush : We're sending Indians to moon next year!

    Bush : Wow !! How many ??

    Manmohan Singh to Bush : 100 !! 25 OBC, 20 SC, 15 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports personnals n 2 Kashmiri migrants, 8 politicians, 18 General and if possible 2 Astronaouts!!
    I think only people from india can understand that.
    Nice one neerajsingh.

  8. #148
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    A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.

    What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.

    "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out."

    What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

  9. #149
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    that was a nice one.
    Keep updating.

  10. #150
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    May 2006
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    haha, that one was really funny mate :lol:

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