Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer, a plasterer and a carpenter.

One afternoon he returned from work early and saw a plumber's truck in the driveway. "Lord," he pleaded, looking skyward, "please let my wife be having an affair."



A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're real lucky, mine's still alive."


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go on our anniversary?"
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

Husband : U know dear, our son got his brain from me.
Wife : I think he did, I've still got mine with me!