adult jokes(only 18+)

[ftvfatboy]

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an South African on an
overseas flight.

After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. "Last
night I made love to my wife four times, " the Frenchman bragged, "and this
morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored
me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times, " the Italian responded,
"and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never
love another man."

When the South African remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how
many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once, " he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you
this morning?"

"Don't stop."

[dafkesher]

i like you humor, talent guy.

Daf Kesher.

[dafkesher]

i like you humor, talent guy.

Daf Kesher.

[Bad Religion]

i like you humor, talent guy.

Daf Kesher.

i like your humor too!

[Palmist]

poor Italian ... he takes his time to come ! ;-) nice !!

[pH]

Good one
thanks dude

[sreerag16.bizhat.com]

Its not appreciable that you post only one joke a thread..
Please update this thread..

[ftvfatboy]

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters and they were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe". Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said:

"Good till the last drop".

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack:

"Extra Long. King Size".

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "British Airways". Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for BA. The ad said:

"Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mom fainted...

[ftvfatboy]

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.

The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:

"Iron this."





A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office ready to show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.

The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialled 911,and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you s ay such a thing?" asked the woman.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my new bracelet? "

[ftvfatboy]

Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer, a plasterer and a carpenter.

One afternoon he returned from work early and saw a plumber's truck in the driveway. "Lord," he pleaded, looking skyward, "please let my wife be having an affair."



A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're real lucky, mine's still alive."


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go on our anniversary?"
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

Husband : U know dear, our son got his brain from me.
Wife : I think he did, I've still got mine with me!