things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/friend is taking their
sweet time:


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in

house wares ..... and see what happens.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't
you people just leave me alone?'

8. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your
nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows

where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least...

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then
yell
very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"