Things Dogs Need To Remember

The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up
When I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge,
Behind the sofa or under the bed.

I must shake the rainwater out of my
Fur before entering the house.

I will not eat the cats' food,
Before they eat it or after they throw it up.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces
Of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, deer, etc.
Just because I like the way they smell.

"Kitty box crunchies,"
Although they are tasty, are not food.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not chew my human's
Toothbrush and not tell them.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the
Window rolled down when it's raining outside.