+++ Jokes, Cooking +++

[soultan.m]

A Little Garlic with your Spaghetti??


My goofy friend was making spaghetti and wanted to know how much garlic to add to the sauce. I told her to add 2 cloves of garlic and I would be over for supper. When I walked into her home, the whole house reeked of this incredible, overwhelming smell of garlic. In the top of the pot were approximately 30 cloves of garlic floating in the sauce. I told her she should have added 2 cloves of garlic and not 2 buds to the sauce. We did eat the spaghetti, but the after-burn was very, very, very painful.

[soultan.m]

Big Brothers Cookies


Sarah was never tall enough to reach the cookies in the kitchen so she always asked her brother to get them for her, becuase he is taller and older than her. When she was about 7 (her brother still had to get the cookies for her) she was dared to eat a dog biscuit. AFter she eats one, she goes home and punches her brother. For her whole life he had been giving her dog biscuits instead of cookies.

[soultan.m]

Fried Egg Gone Wrong


When I was about 8 my friend and I wanted to make a fried egg and it was the last egg in the refrigerator. so we started the stove and cracked the egg in the pan. We pushed it around like we saw her mom do it. When we thought it was done we put it on a plate. It looked NASTY!!!! So we put salt & pepper on it and tried to give it to her big sister. (it didn't work)

[soultan.m]

Dad can't cook chinese food


My Dad, God rest his sole, was probably the worst cook in the history of fire. On the rare occasion that he did it was a lesson in humility. One night he decided to make Chinese food. The ingredients consisted of, and I kid you not, white rice, ricotta cheese, corn, peas, and cucumber. He also added a side dish of tatter tots. Needless to say my brother and sister and I fought over the 15 available tatter tots on the table.

[soultan.m]

My fear of Mustard


When I was a very little girl my favorite uncle told me if I ate anything with mustard in it, I would grow hair on my chest. I remember checking my chest every time I ate at his house. I was scared he had slipped some mustard in the food! I am a grandmother now, and I still get butterflies around mustard!

[soultan.m]

Cookies


How many cookies did the cookie monster eat?
I don't really remember but i do remember him throwing up for about an hour!

[soultan.m]

Rock Hard Rice


Three years ago when I was 12 , I tried cooking with my friend. I didnt really have lots of knowlegde about cooking. We wanted to cook fried rice. And I didnt boil the rice just stuck it on the frying pan and insisted to my friend that I see my mom do this a million times. When we tried the rice it was rock hard. And when I cook rice now....I always boil it! :D

[soultan.m]

Rice Krispie Treats


When my niece first started to make deserts, at about the age of 8 she tried to make rice krispie treats. She didn't read the recipe completely before starting so when she read rice she used uncooked white rice. Not reading any further missing the word that say krispies.

[soultan.m]

Dude, where's my stock?


I decided to make chicken noodle soup one below zero day in Kirkwood, New York. After a trip to the market, I carefully chopped, measured, and cooked my chicken in a large stock pot with seasonings and vegetables. While the bird was a'boiling, I readied the rest of the vegetables and herbs for the finished soup. Finally, the bird was done and the soup base was ready to be strained. I pulled the chicken out of the pot with tongs, put my mesh strainer in the sink, and carefully poured 3 hours of work through it. Too bad I forgot to put the receiving pot underneath it. Every drop, right down the drain. Needless to say, I screamed a lot. N

[soultan.m]

Mac and Cheese


I was around restaurants all my life never had to cook so needless to say I never learned. When my children were young I attempted to make mac & cheese from scratch. Put macaroni in pan with butter, cheese and milk. Then placed it in the oven to cook for an hour. I tried to feed it to them. They refused to eat it . I forgot to cook macaroni first. It was really bad.