+++ Jokes, Cooking +++

[soultan.m]

Waffles


If you read peanut butter glooby you will understand this story. so after I mixed together peanut butter glooby (that’s what I call it) I took it further and started with waffle mix and added my glooby and a little of butter thinking that it would take place of the butter your supposed to put on the waffle maker. So, I shut the lid and when it was done I flipped open the lid and it stuck to the bottom, I scraped it off put it on a plate and put a little of condensed sugar and I have to admit it was mushy but GREAT! Try that.

[soultan.m]

dont let the lobsters go red!!!


i was working in a very nice restaurant and one of the tasks is to cook fresh lobsters on one day we had a new commis chef come into our kitchen when he found out we cooked our lobsters from fresh he wanted real bad to do it so we asked him had he ever seen lobsters and he said "oh yes they are those red things in the sea so when he saw them he said they are not red what are they so we told him that they were "really expensive rare black lobsters that costed €80 each and if they turned black they were ruined and he had to pay for them himself so he said ok and heated up the water and put in 10 lobsters and ofcourse they went red you should of seen his face when we asked him was every thing okay he replyed yes no problem in a shakey voice we let him panic for a few mins then told him the truth...

[soultan.m]

Campfire Rice Krispies


One year, when camping, we thought it would be fun to make a pot of rice krispies over the campfire and brought everything we would need ... or so we thought! Everything was ready to go, and the marshmallows and butter were melting nicely in the pot. Our mouths were watering and we couldn't wait to dig in. Thought we'd better give it a stir to speed it along ... and the PLASTIC spoon melted/dissolved right into the mixture. I have to confess that we actually contemplated eating it ...

[soultan.m]

Burnt off


Well, I was cooking dinner for my 4 kids and I didn’t notice that i had left the oven mitts on the stove, I spun around, smelling the smoke, and then trying to put out the fire with a wet tea towel, somehow I burnt my eye brows off!

[soultan.m]

Black Forest Cherry Cake aka 200 lb. biscuit


My attempt at a homemade birthday for my husband had a problem. It called for whipping cream, how could I go wrong? Well, somehow its weight and mass didn't add up when we cut into it. Tasted like a two ton sugar biscuit. My little son who was six said, to not hurt my feelings, "It's OK, Mom. I'd eat it if I had to."

[soultan.m]

Green Jello


I was about nine years old the first time I ever made Jello. I boiled the water, added it to the green gelatin powder, stirred, added the cold water and refrigerated it. It didn't look quite right--the top was a slightly thick liquid and the bottom was kind of rubbery and gritty. However, my family (five older brothers and two sisters--one older and one younger) very kindly ate at it and said nothing. Until my fourth brother, Mark, said, "Mmmmm. This is good!" My older sister, Melanie was just putting some of this delicious treat into her mouth, when his comment made her laugh and, unfortunately, inhale some of the Jello. As she sat there gasping for breath, my mother (who takes everything so calmly) was shouting out suggestions like, "She's choking!" and "Slap her on the back!", etc. which made Melanie laugh more. She had almost regained her composure when Mom came up with the best antidote of all--"Take her outside and squirt her with the hose!!", causing a little more excitement all around. Well, we all survived that incident, and now I am very careful to completely dissolve my gelatin before I chill it! :)

[soultan.m]

Another newlywed cooking tale


When my friends were first married Ann was going to surprise her hubby with a homemade cake. To her dismay it turned out horribly. Not wanting to be found out she dug a hole by the house and buried it. Many years later, due to a fire, they had to build a new home. You got it--her husband found the cake pan and wondered how it got there. She fessed up!

[soultan.m]

A Pancake Mix Suprise


I went to my sisters, a while ago, to take her out to run some errands. She had asked me if I had eaten breakfast and I replied no. Good she said neither had I and she decided to make pancakes from a mix. She opened the box and poured the mix into a large bowl. That is when my 3 year old son had said, "Mom what is moving around in the bowl?" I said what did you say? I looked in the bowl and to my surprise, it had sat to long in a cupboard and became buggy.
My sister than replied, we can still eat it as long as I sift out those bugs!

[soultan.m]

You bought it where?


My mother was making sauce for dinner, after frying 3 lbs. of meatballs, sausage and pork she opened a can of tomatoes and they were spoiled. She asked if I would go to the store and tell the owner that she had ruined all the meat for her sauce because the cans she purchased at his store were spoiled. That I did. After dinner was over my mother told my father what happened with the cans of tomatoes she bought from the corner store. When I heard her tell my father the name of the store I started to laugh because I went to the market at the other end of town where the owner not only replaced all the meat but he cleared the shelves of the brand of tomatoes I thought my mother purchased there!

[soultan.m]

Tuna) Noodle Casserole


My family really enjoys my tuna noodle casserole. But a couple of years ago, I blew them away with the best one ever. At the dinner table, they just kept saying how good it was. I said thank you and was very puzzled. I didn't think I did anything different to it. Boy was I wrong! After supper was over, leftovers put away, I was cleaning up the kitchen and low and behold what did I find? I found my 2 cans of tuna--opened and full of the tuna!! My family doesn't let me live that one down and now when I make it somebody always asks, "Did you remember the tuna"? Now I know why it was different!