It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child, was home alone with her 3 year old daughter, Katelyn. When Heidi started to go into labor she called "911". Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his feet, and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and he asked the wide eyed 3 year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Spank him again!"


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A few days after Christmas, a mother working in the kitchen, was listening to her son play with his new electric train set. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All you mother fuckers and bitches who are getting off, get the hell off now, and all you mother fuckers and bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train cause we're leaving right now."

The mother went into the living room and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room for two hours. When you come out, you may play with your train provided you use some good language."

Two hours later, her son came out of his room and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope that you will ride with us again. For those of you just boarding, we ask that you stow all hand luggage under your seat. Remember that there is no smoking except in the club car. We hope that you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. For those of you who are pissed off because of the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."



:o