Things NOT To Say To a Policeman

**Rhinomansc** · 07-24-2005, 04:44 PM

Hey, you must'a been doin' about 165 kph to keep up with me! Good job!

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

Excuse me, but this is a "stick up" hyphenated?

Hi Officer, do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's license?

You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

"Bad Cop! No Donut!"

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.

You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

Didn't I see you get your butt kicked last week on "COPS"?

I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.

So, uh, you "on the take" or what?

Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

Hey is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

100 kph in a 60 kph area? Could you put down 120? I'm trying to sell the car."

I normaly keep all that junk right here (pointing to the glove box), but
you see, this isn't my car!

I double-dog dare ya to arrest me!

Haha! I got your guu-uun

Bet ya can't keep up with me now that your on foot!! (and drive away)

Go to hell and have a nice day! (after terring up ticket)

Could ya hold on a sec, I just want to finish this beer.

**CFE** · 07-24-2005, 05:58 PM

Around here if you ask a cop where to got o fill out a complaint about another cop he will arest you.

Around here, you get shot at for having a lazer pointer.

When a cop Pulls you over you say, "Sorry Officer, I didn't know what I was doing". :P Just thought I would add on to ya good jokes :P

**Rhinomansc** · 07-24-2005, 11:12 PM

Around here, you get shot at for having a lazer pointer.

Where is that at? I've never heard that one before is it true?

When a cop Pulls you over you say, "Sorry Officer, I didn't know what I was doing".

Good one

**CFE** · 07-25-2005, 10:41 AM

Well quote number 1.

A kid in Iowa had a lazer pointer and was messing around with it, and pointed it at a copy (5 Years old). Cop shot him in the head and got away with it.
Said he didn't know if the kid had a gun or not.

When a 5 year old can shoot and hold a lazer scoped sniper gun, let me know so I can baracade my house.